Director Peter Webber (Girl With the Pearl Earring) has a new project coming up called Emperor that looks at the tension and confusion in Japan immediately after their surrender in World War II. The film will star Lost’s Matthew Fox as a man named General Bonner Fellers (or “boner feeler” as he was doubtless known in his junior high), who served General Douglas MacArthur as his leading expert on all things Japanese. Basically he was the 40s military version of kids that are really into manga and video games.

Being the leading expert on Japan was a pretty important role in this particular moment in history, however, as Fellers ended up being the guy who had to decide whether or not Emperor Hirohito should be tried and hanged as a war criminal. That’s some pretty grave stuff, but Fox won’t have to handle the dramatic load alone.

THR is reporting that veteran actor Tommy Lee Jones has now signed on to the project to portray General MacArthur. Emperor producer Gary Foster says of the choice, “Tommy will bring strength, intelligence and gravitas to the portrayal of Gen. Douglas MacArthur, a legendary American hero.” Gravitas is a good word to use there. Jones is one of those actors that just lends a certain weight to every role he takes, no matter how ridiculous the movie around him might be. I’m sure his familiar presence will add quite a bit to this historical drama. Hell, at this point he’s practically a legendary American hero himself.

Now that his stoic role as Steve Rogers in Captain America: The First Avenger and the upcoming The Avengers has successfully washed the taste of Chris Evans’ failed early career attempts at being the wise-cracking comedic actor out of my mouth, it’s time to start figuring out what he’s going to do next. And according to a report from Variety, it sounds like he’s being pretty wise in taking his next step.

Apparently the handsome young fella is negotiating to star in a movie called Snow Piercer, which is going to be the first English language feature from The Host and Mother director Joon-ho Bong. For those of you who don’t usually watch foreign films, Joon-ho Bong makes some awesome movies, so this is a project that should be taken seriously; even if the title and premise, that of a group of people trying to travel by train on an ice-covered world, sound a little lame.

Upping the ante even further on this film is the fact that Joon-ho co-wrote it with Chan-wook Park (Oldboy), who will also produce. I can see those of you who don’t like to watch foreign films looking at me funny again, but rest assured, Chan-wook Park is another one of those guys who makes really awesome movies. He’ll be making his domestic debut soon with a movie called Stoker that’s starring Nicole Kidman and Mia Wasikowska, so we’ll all be on the same page soon. The same awesome page.

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly movie news column that has a bit of a fashion sense, a sometimes sexy side and perhaps even a creepy streak. It will use and abuse all of these facets of its game in tonight’s edition. This one, as they say, is a must-read.

We begin tonight with an image of custom Attack the Block themed shoes made by Toni Taylor-Salisbury, whom you may know as Mrs. Junkfood Cinema. The lovely Kayla Kromer tweeted them earlier this evening, as yet another example of Mrs. Salisbury’s amazing work in the realm of geek footwear. You can check out her other work over on her Etsy store. Do it now. Then come back, because there’s more news.

Celebrations will undoubtedly spill into the streets now that Sherlock has been renewed for a third season. Stephen Moffat spilled the beans on Twitter, leaving many of us weeping with joy. Literally weeping.

Tomorrow, many businesses on the Internet will be going black to protest SOPA, the upcoming legislation that would not only fight piracy, but threaten the way of life of many bloggers, publishers and domain owners. We’re with them in spirit, even though we won’t be going black — we can’t afford to lose a day’s ad revenue, as SOPA passing could very well put a site like FSR out of business if we inadvertently happen upon something that doesn’t belong to us and post it as news. That said, the MPAA is really mad at Google, Wikipedia, Reddit and the like.

J.J. Abrams has begun shooting Star Trek 2, that is, if a press release from Paramount Pictures is to believe. It is. In slightly more interesting Star Trek 2 news, MTV’s Josh Horowitz got Benedict Cumberbatch to comment on his character: “I don’t think we do know that, actually. I think that’s just supposition. That’s all I’m going to say about it.” I don’t care who he plays. He’s in it, and that works. For Star Trek fans, there’s also this red alert door chime thingy.

Movieline asks if the sexy GQ spread Michelle Williams has done will win her an Oscar. Because it’s about hearts and minds, people. Hearts and minds and things that exist a few feet below hearts and minds. Michelle Williams 2012!

“On the Internet, all those same guys that are complaining I made a change are completely changing the movie. I’m saying: ‘Fine. But my movie, with my name on it, that says I did it, needs to be the way I want it.’ ” That’s the money quote from a NYT piece on George Lucas, which otherwise finds an interesting story behind the making of Red Tails, but will be remembered for quoting Lucas on his fanboy butthurtedness. In short: he’s sorry you feel that way, but he still doesn’t care what you think.

Patrick Goldstein at The Big Picture asks What Do Mitt Romney and ‘The Artist’ have in common? They both work better without dialogue? They both have shiny teeth? They both come from a more innocent time with outdated ideals? They’re both going to not win Best Picture? So many questions…

The AV Club’s Jason Heller has published a new novel called If You Like Monty Python… that will help Python fans find other great things to love — once they are done watching the entire Flying Circus box set for the 12th time. I bought a copy. You should, too.

The folks at The Guardian will debut Terry Gilliam’s short The Wholly Family online on January 23rd for £1.99. Insert joke about currency exchange rates here. Just pay the $17 and watch the damn film.

Even though the momentum of its narrative quality seems to suggest that the good days are over, Dexter isn’t going anywhere according to Exec. Producer Manny Coto. Also, there may be a Dexter movie sometime in the future. Because all shows have been thought of for a movie. It’s just the way of life.

We close tonight with the folks at Funny or Die delivering what can only be described as the most disturbing possible version of Rugrats that science can create. It’s live action, it stars Alia Shawkat, Mae Whitman and Michael Angarano, and it’s effing terrifying.

Holy cigarette filter-chomping hell. FDR: American Badass! is attempting to win every award for low budget insanity ever made. It’s an obvious money grab in response to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer, but whereas that gem sought to preserve a bit of history, FDR: AB! takes history, injects it with polio, glues 8 pounds of fur to it and lights it on fire.

There is nothing about this trailer that doesn’t live up to the Badass pedigree. It all screams “Success!” Explosions, Werewolf Hitler, Barry Bostwick taking it all exactly as seriously as it needs to be taken. Of course, it was all directed by Garrett Brawith, the guy who played Jeffrey Dahmer in Diary of a Serial Killer. Plus, Kevin Sorbo playing Abraham Lincoln. Figure that one out.

Werewolf Nazis, people. It’s people in werewolf costumes in Nazi uniforms. Enjoy!

Fuck. Polio. 2012.

If only he’d had a mic to drop after that.

Source: The Film Stage

Welcome back to This Week In DVD. I had a root canal this morning.

As always, if you see something you like, click on the image to buy it.

Redline

In the very distant future a group of retro racers who still use wheel-based vehicles take part in an ultimate race called Redline while dealing with the competition, organized crime and an alien group intent on ending the tournament forever. This Japanese anime is a blast, and fans looking for that elusive crossover between Cannonball Run and Animalympics should look no further. The film opens and closes with some wildly fun race sequences while the middle works to mostly setup the main storyline and relationships between the racers and two leads. Plus boobs!

Nothing to buy this week! Spend your money on dental floss instead so you can hopefully avoid having to get a root canal. Because seriously… the dental dam was an uncomfortable nightmare.

The Ides of March

Pitch: Yes, the scene where Gosling kisses Clooney in the elevator before pummeling Philip Seymour Hoffman is as good as you’ve heard…

Why Rent? A presidential candidate’s (George Clooney) eager and idealistic staffer (Ryan Gosling) discovers working and playing in the top tier political arena can be a soul crushing experience. Clooney directed and co-wrote this depressingly insightful yet highly entertaining look at the modern day world of politics as usual, and both men give strong performances. Gosling has never been particularly interesting, but 2011 saw three very distinct and engaging performances from him. Clooney does a fair job of skewering both sides of the aisle here as well even if he does occasionally lean slightly left.

The Mysteries of Lisbon

Pitch: For those lazy days when you find yourself with a hankering for a four-hour plus historical drama in Portuguese…

Why Rent? A young man named Joao discovers he’s the bastard son of two aristocrats and sets out to learn the truth about his parents. One is a well to do socialite, and the other is a wealthy businessman, and across the film’s incredible running time as well as the story’s decades and miles traveled these three characters explore the rich tapestry of people, events and coincidences that life has to offer. I’d be lying if I said I managed to watch this movie in one sitting. Or three. But fans of historical costume drama with a hint of magical realism will find much to savor here.

Undocumented

Pitch: I’m Ron Paul, and I approve of this message…

Why Rent? A group of college students shooting a documentary on illegal immigrants rides along with some Mexicans as they sneak into the United States, but their celebratory arrival is cut short when they’re captured by radical patriots. Chris Peckover’s film mixes its genres some with a little bit of found footage and a little bit of torture horror, but he also infuses it with some strong social commentary. But don’t worry about the message getting in the way of the terror… there’s still more than enough nasty tidbits for your enjoyment. The film does lose some points though for featuring protagonists who whine and roll over instead of fighting back.

Abduction

Pitch: Never bring a six-pack to a gunfight…

Why Avoid? A retarded boy (Taylor Lautner) with hairy palms discovers his parents aren’t who they say they are, and mere minutes later they’re blown up and he’s on a run for his life. Lautner’s first real attempt at a career outside of the Twilight films ends in this disaster from the usually reliable John Singleton. The film doesn’t get a single thing right in its desperate quest to entertain. The acting is subpar, the script is abysmal, the action is tepid, and seeing Maria Bello here is just depressing. Skip it and watch anything else. Seriously. Anything else.

Cold Sweat

Pitch: You know what they say about ladies with cold sweat…

Why Avoid? Two friends find trouble when they’re tricked into entering a house owned by two geriatric madmen prone to dipping scantily clad women in nitroglycerin. Just typing that sentence makes me want to watch the movie again until I remember that it’s a great concept saddled with a poorly executed movie. The bad guys here are old, but no one at any time even tries to beat them down. One of the killers uses a walker for Christ’s sake. The film does earn points for finding various ways to get an attractive and busty Argentinian actress to strip down to nothing but perspiration, but that’s not enough to warrant a recommendation. Skip it and watch Cold Comfort Farm instead.

Delocated: The Complete Seasons One and Two

Pitch: Not hilarity, not reality…

Why Avoid? A man and his family enter the Witness Protection Program and begin starring in a reality TV show at the same time. This is, perhaps predictably, a bad idea. The one-note bit of this series is that the trio wear ski masks to protect their identity but otherwise go about their normal lives. So we see them shopping in masks. Working at a copy shop in a mask. Going out on blind dates in a mask. There’s clearly an audience for this kind of comedy, but I’m not it. Mostly because I hesitate to call it comedy. Skip it and watch a double feature of Witness and Real Life instead.

Also out this week, but I haven’t seen the movie/TV show, review material was unavailable, and I have no blind opinion:

Age of Heroes
Belle du Jour (Criterion)
Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star
Caterpillar
Courageous
Killing Bono
Special Treatment

Read More: This Week in DVD

What are you buying on DVD this week?

Not only will Joel Edgerton be in at least four dozen movies this year, The Hollywood Reporter is reporting that he’s just sold a spec script to Regency called One Night Stand that has them on the hunt for a director. The concept, which seems light-years away from The Square, involves an honest look at what happens when a guy and girl shack up for a single night. Consequences ensue.

That’s a sadly inexact description of the script (considering that it describes a ton of movies), but hopefully there’s some magic hidden in it that caught the eye of the studio. Edgerton of course wrote The Square which caught a lot of attention, but seemed more than a bit clunky as a thriller. This new project is outside that wheelhouse just a bit as it’s described as a “drama with comedic elements,” which means someone gorgeously recites the To Be Or Not To Be speech before slipping on a banana peel. Or, if his Square sensibilities in tact, the main character will sleep with a dude no-string-style and then dump an illicit bag of money on his bed before leaving.

All of this adds up to continued dominance from the Australian actor/writer/producer who just keeps making his presence known. At any rate, he’s come a long way from playing Owen Lars in Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones, eh?

In October of 2011, Representative Lamar S. Smith (of the great state of Texas) introduced the Stop Online Piracy Act to Congress. The bill’s aim was to bolster copyright holders in fights against those that infringe upon them, and that’s an important task. Intellectual property theft can be incredibly injurious to the victim. In fact, FSR had to cut through red tape in the fall of last year to stop a Chinese-based website from stealing its content and republishing it wholesale. Plagiarism is despicable, and stealing the hard creative work of others is too.

However, SOPA is tantamount to drinking drain cleaner because your nose itches.

The bill is unduly generic – granting massive powers to the government and entities who would wield it like a plaything to shut down websites for spurious reasons and to keep them down throughout what would inevitably be a drawn-out legal process. In short, for an accusation with no meat on it, some of your favorite sites could be shut down on a whim, creating both temporary and possibly permanent damage.

As you can see from our masthead today, we’re in full support of the protest against SOPA (and PIPA, it’s cousin in the Senate). While we don’t know how powerful the SOPA blackout might be, we genuinely wish we could go dark as well, but it’s just not feasible for a site like ours that operates on a smile and a shoestring. Losing a day of revenue is just too much of a burden for a movie magazine that pays writers in cat food and old DVD cleaning kits, but in solidarity, Kevin Carr is going to spend the entire day blacked out on his couch after watching Bucky Larson and Human Centipede 2 simultaneously.

The truth is, you probably already know all about SOPA (and the fact that it’s not slang used for ordering delicious sopaipillas (you raise a flag for that)), but it’s also important to know that the MPAA is firmly in support of the bill and its abusive nature. It’s also imperative to remember that rejecting SOPA is not automatically support for movie piracy.

First off, the MPAA sent out this barn burner of a press release:

WASHINGTON —The following is a statement by Senator Chris Dodd, Chairman and CEO of the Motion Picture Association of America, Inc. (MPAA) on the so-called “Blackout Day” protesting anti-piracy legislation:

“Only days after the White House and chief sponsors of the legislation responded to the major concern expressed by opponents and then called for all parties to work cooperatively together, some technology business interests are resorting to stunts that punish their users or turn them into their corporate pawns, rather than coming to the table to find solutions to a problem that all now seem to agree is very real and damaging.

It is an irresponsible response and a disservice to people who rely on them for information use their services. It is also an abuse of power given the freedoms these companies enjoy in the marketplace today. It’s a dangerous and troubling development when the platforms that serve as gateways to information intentionally skew the facts to incite their users in order to further their corporate interests.

A so-called “blackout” is yet another gimmick, albeit a dangerous one, designed to punish elected and administration officials who are working diligently to protect American jobs from foreign criminals. It is our hope that the White House and the Congress will call on those who intend to stage this “blackout” to stop the hyperbole and PR stunts and engage in meaningful efforts to combat piracy.”

Apologies for turning you into our corporate prawns and punishing you. Don’t pretend like you don’t like it.

Here’s the deal with the MPAA. It’s a great idea that has been implemented like an enema from Nurse Ratched. Instead of being a force for good in a world where parents are interested in knowing what kind of explicit content can be found in art before they expose children to it, it’s embraced a disgusting brand of Nanny-ism that would rather use soft power and the market place to censor work than allow adults to make up their own minds. After years of malfeasance, this full scale attack on the First Amendment, and a profound misunderstanding of their role in the movie industry, it’s time to call for the MPAA to be restructured so that it can do its job and stop hurting artists’ and entrepreneurs’ ability to make movies and money. The first act? To create some accountability in a group that’s completely shielded by auditing of any kind.

As to the statement’s assertions, it’s unclear how the blackout is “dangerous” or how it will hurt the lawmakers behind this bill (unless they don’t like hearing from the people they work for), but to spit so much venom at a group assembling to exercise its fundamental freedoms showcases exactly how the MPAA feels about the general public.

Here’s the catch. While it’s easy to hate SOPA and the people pushing it through like Rosemary’s Baby, it’s also easy to lose sight of the simple fact that online piracy hurts filmmakers.

Sure, it feels about as illegal as driving 10 miles over the speed limit, but there are also real-world consequences. Recently, House of the Devil and Innkeepers director Ti West asked the internet not to steal his movie, but it wasn’t for the obvious reason. It wasn’t about the money:

“Every time you purchase something you are making a statement. You are creating physical evidence that something has value. If something has a high value, then it becomes in high demand. So if you make a concerted effort to support lesser-known, interesting and esoteric things (Art?) then you are helping make those lesser-known things more popular. I’m sure we can all agree that there are incredible movies made every year that never get the attention they deserve – That’s not the movies’ fault. That is our collective fault for not being proactive enough to GO OUT OF OUR WAY to support them.

So yes, I want you to go out of your way and pay for my movie. Not because I’m greedy, but because if the movie makes money (whomever for) that’s tangible evidence of a paying audience out there for movies like mine.”

In fact, West effectively showed that he (and other independent filmmakers in his position) wouldn’t be hurt financially by piracy, but value might be a much more vital imperative. Why? If you love the art, love the artist (or be prepared to go without art).

Pirating these movies hurts filmmakers, and it hurts you in the long run because the types of movies you enjoy might not get made. In a response to West, producer Keith Calder (The Wackness, The Greatest Movie Ever Sold, You’re Next) echoed the sentiments with hopes that the sound in the echo chamber would get louder and burst through the walls. Both pieces are worth perusing, but here’s the money quote from Calder:

“Do you want to live in a world where RESERVOIR DOGS or PULP FICTION wouldn’t be able to get made, because the distributors all assume its audience would just pirate it? Because that’s where we’re headed right now.”

A chilling, illuminating question.

Calder is correct to point out that the industry believes that younger audiences won’t pay for anything except blockbusters, and that the core problem is that evidence of piracy only advances that theory. Stealing movies from filmmakers is like dining and dashing at your favorite restaurant after leaving a note saying how much you love their food. Pretty soon, the restaurant goes bankrupt, and you have nowhere to eat pancakes at.

We as movie fans owe it to the creators of the art we enjoy and to ourselves to police ourselves and fiercely reject any attempt from an outsider to tell us that we can’t responsibly appreciate movies or any other media.

SOPA isn’t just about stopping Canadian drugs from crossing the border, and it’s not just about Chinese and Russian websites scraping content. No, rejecting the perversion of SOPA or the asinine contempt of MPAA shouldn’t also be a score for online piracy, but these bills are the real enemies here. If you haven’t already, contact your congressperson to let them know how you feel and then go watch Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. For one, the only way a blackout like this works is if it makes enough noise, and for two, that movie is awesome. Jimmy Stewart crushes it.

Hopefully that’s what we’ll all do to SOPA. Down with piracy, down with the MPAA and down with witch-hunting bills that take power from the people.

In other words: Damn the Man. Save the Empire.

Despite how it might sound via Twitter feed and Facebook post, film festival-going for film journalists is not easy. It is fun, but it’s not easy. Each festival has its own unique addition to the crush of films, interviews, events, sleeping, writing, eating, sleeping, writing, eating all over again, more films, more interviews, more events, and attempting to spend some with fellow journalist pals you might see but once a year that add up to a festival experience. SXSW and Fantastic Fest have all the temptations of Austin – why write when you can eat BBQ? The Los Angeles Film Festival has the caveat of taking place in the downtown Los Angeles hellmouth. AFI FEST? Passes only. Tribeca? City living. Cannes? Parlez-vous Français?

The Sundance Film Festival‘s unique challenge is an obvious one – it takes place in a ski town in Utah in the middle of January. It’s cold. It can be really cold. More than that, Sundance is a lot of work. A lot of films, a lot of interview opportunities, a lot of events to attend. It’s a pretty daunting combination, but it’s one I’ve overcome (happily, and with apparent success) before, and it’s one you can, too. I am a self-confessed cold intolerant (the medical term! Living in Los Angeles for a decade has made me soft!) workaholic (quite clearly) who loves Sundance more than any other festival, and I am about to tell you what I pack to make sure that I can survive and thrive at said favorite festival.

After the break, check out my (not at all over-the-top) packing list of must-have items, along with handy pictures for those of you who don’t know what flannel looks like.

Dressing Yourself, Basic Clothing

1. Thermals for layering.

2. Flannel shirts for layering.

3. Sweaters and/or fleece pullovers for, you got it, layering.

4. Jeans or cords for, umm, pants-wearing.

Dressing Yourself, Cold Weather Gear

1. First and foremost, a winter jacket. Don’t be a tough guy and think you can get by without it, it’s just not happening. However, if the weather warms up and you’ve also gotten used to temperatures that are likely much cooler than those in your hometown, you can wing it in later days with a fleece and vest. And a scarf. And glo-ittens. Just bring a jacket.

2. Second and also pretty foremost, long underwear. I went without long underwear beneath my jeans/cords/whatever last year and it was the worst day of the festival by a long shot. I’ve worn Hot Chillys (or, as my delusional sidekick calls them, “Jingo Jangoes”) since I was a ski-jumping tot. Yup, they’re expensive, but I’ve never been cold in them. Don’t skimp on underoos. Also, don’t hate me for using the term “underoos.”

3. Third and not pictured because oops, boots. Snow boots, real snow boots. Not anything with a heel or fur that’s just there for decoration (fur for warmth is cool). Real boots with a real grip that you can wear for hours upon hours. Mine are North Face and they’ve served me well.

4. Hats. Your ears and head will get cold. It’s a fact.

5. Mittens or gloves. Lately, I’ve been sporting glo-mittens – they look like mittens, but unfold to become fingerless gloves! You can still use all your touch-paddy stuff!

6. Scarves and mufflers.

7. Socks. Lots and lots of socks.

8. Cold weather vest for “warm” days.

A typical outfit on the first day of Sundance? Boots, socks, long underwear, jeans, camisole, thermal, sweater, jacket, scarf, hat, glo-mitens. Typical outfit on the last day of Sundance? Socks on top of socks, long underwear on top of long underwear, one hobo shoe, flannel, thermal over top of flannel, vest, hat, hat, socks, someone else’s hat. Layering is so versatile.

Technology That Gets the Job Done

1. If you’re staying with a lot of people, there’s one piece of technology that will save your ass, delight your roommates, and prove your out-of-the-box brain power: surge protector. Not only will it protect you from, well duh, surges, it also adds enough power outlets for every blogger you know to plug in their laptop life machine.

2. Laptop.

3. Ipad and nifty iPad-typing case. Last year, Eric D. Snider looked oh-so-cool while typing away on his iPad while waiting for movies. Snider has ditched his iPad, but I’m trying mine out this year, along with a keyboard borrowed from ever-gentleman James Rocchi.

4. Not pictured – paper things! Ewww, paper! A notebook for writing notes while reviewing, a separate notebook for other stuff (interview questions, observations, food diary, limericks, etc.), pens, pencils, highlighters.

5. The Sundance Binder of Epic Epicness. I could describe this masterful invention, but I wouldn’t do half the job Erin McCarthy does in this must-read Sundance prep post on Cineboobs.

6. Tech toolkit.

The Tech Toolkit

1. Camera.

2. Voice recorder for interviews.

3. Jump drive (little Fantastic Fest dude!).

4. Flip Mini.

5. Camera charger.

6. Mophie Juice Pack for iPhone-charging on the fly.

7. IPod shuffle.

8. Cords for everything, including an extra Apple cord and an extra set of headphones.

The Medicine Chest (And More)

1. A solid multi-vitamin, paired with as much rest as you can get, water, and a decent meal or two a day will keep you from illness.

2. Melatonin for sleep (I can stop any time I want to).

3. Cold medication – because, if you do get sick, the last thing you want to do is go looking for medication.

4. General allergy medication for the same reason.

5. Chapstick.

6. Emergen-C.

7. A double set of contacts. If one pair of contacts conked out on me, I’d be upset, but if two did, I’d be screwed.

8. Sewing kit.

9. Tissue pack – you might not need them, but someone will.

10. Lozenges – same.

11. Tide Stick and Tide (if your lodgings have a washer and dryer, i.e. if you’re the luckiest person on the planet).

12. Band-aids.

13. Lotion for your cute little face.

Snacks

This year, I am bringing just two snacks – mini cookies and Cheez-its. Why just the two? Well, despite what other people may have told you, Park City is a real town with real restaurants and mini-marts and a real grocery store. Don’t waste space on stuff that will just get smushed and forgotten. Pack only what will save your ass in a pinch, something tasty, caloric (for energy), portable, and delicious. And guard these snacks with your life.

And don’t make the mistake I did last year – Starbucks Via packets are a disgusting rip-off, and I say that as someone who does not function without coffee and worships at the altar of Starbucks. At some point last year, I reportedly holed up in a corner of my condo and tried to eat one of the blasted Via packets for strength. I say “reportedly,” because I don’t remember it at all – that’s just not safe, people.

—

And that, my friends, is how you pack for Sundance. I think. Wait, where did I put my socks?

The annual week I spend in sleepy Park City, Utah, carousing with the rest of the online film criticism glitterati, eating criminally overpriced pizza, barely sleeping, and consistently worrying about early on-set frostbite is my favorite week of the year. Not just for the pals, the pizza, and the sleep deprivation, but for (shockingly!) the movies. I’ve been lucky enough to see some truly great stuff at Sundance over the past two years – The Freebie, Winter’s Bone, Martha Marcy May Marlene, and Take Shelter all come to mind quite quickly, particularly because those films all stuck with me long enough to make it on to my top ten lists for their respective years. That’s staying power, and that’s the power of Sundance – seeing films in January that stay top-of-mind (and top-of-top-ten-list) for eleven months (and beyond).

So which films from this year’s Sundance will prove to be long-range winners? While I can certainly make some very educated guesses, there’s no way to know for sure until my eyeballs meet Park City’s theater screens. That said, it’s probably safe to assume my ultimate favorite is somewhere on the following list of my ten most anticipated films for this year’s Sundance Film Festival.

Robot & Frank

As someone who very nearly had to be hospitalized after Wall-E, I’ve developed a real soft spot for kindly robot stories. But a kindly robot story that is also a buddy comedy, a heist flick, and a glimpse into how we might live in a few short years? Sold.

Arbitrage

After my controversial stance (of abject loating) on Brit Marling‘s Another Earth (one of two films she premiered at last year’s Sundance), I am anxious to see what the actress can do in a glossier, bigger budget film. Combined with my ennui over another financial flick from last year, Margin Call, Nicholas Jarecki‘s Arbitrage could shape up to something great, and something that could redeem my disdain for its predecessors.

Wrong

You either loved Quentin Dupieux‘s Rubber, or you hated it – there was absolutely no in-between when it came to the filmmaker’s tale of a killer tire that also served as commentary on movie-watching in general. But I’d hazard a guess that his latest film, Wrong, might appeal to both camps – Rubberheads and those who didn’t get it or didn’t care to. Hey, at least there’s a dog!

Liberal Arts

I recently re-watched Josh Radnor‘s directorial debut, Happythankyoumoreplease, which also debuted at Sundance back in 2010. I remember liking the film well enough back then, but a second watch made some of Radnor’s missteps (and there are but a handful and the film is still quite charming) seem more glaring, and I think it’s pretty likely that Radnor has noticed the same things and corrected them for Liberal Arts. The first sign that Radnor was bringing a fresh eye to his sophomore outing? Casting Sundance it-girl Elizabeth Olsen as his romantic lead. And, if rumors hold true, Zac Efron pops up in this one for a small, but memorable role.

Black Rock

Yet another Sundance alumni, Katie Aselton returns to the festival with a very different film than 2009′s sensitive tale of martial and sexual strife, The Freebie. This time around, Aselton cedes writing duties to her husband Mark Duplass (a Sundance darling in his own right) for a thriller about three childhood friends whose getaway weekend turns dark – and fast. The Freebie was terrifying and wrenching in its own way, and Duplass has already his hand at meta-horror with Baghead, so I am anxious to see what the duo can do with a real terror. And, full disclosure, I donated to the film’s wildly successful Kickstarter campaign – that’s how much I wanted to see this film get made.

Why Watch? Because if you send text messages or use Facebook, someone is making a profit off your information.

This short, in the vein and style of last year’s Stuxnet: Anatomy of a Computer Virus is as informative as it is shocking, and as educational as it is visually impressive. Perhaps it’s even more important on a day like today, or maybe it’s the kind of information we should all be armed with no matter what.

What will it cost? Only 3 minutes.

You’ve Got Time For More Short Films

The Gods at ABC have smiled down upon us. In what seems like the first logical thing done in the 2012 midseason, the Disney network has cancelled the insufferable Work It, the Bosom Buddies­-style “comedy” about two men who cross-dress to get a job in pharmaceutical sales. While this news is a triumph on its own, it paved the way for another exciting revelation – a Valentine’s Day premiere date for cult favorite Cougar Town. Praise Big Carl! The return of this Bill Lawrence comedy is some of the most exciting news since, well, the cancellation of Work It. This comedy, premiering in 2009 after Modern Family, is a wine-soaked, sun-bathed Golden Girls of the new age; a poorly-named glimpse at the lives of the Sex and the City gals, had they headed to suburbia. They do everything wrong – handling everyday situations as inappropriately as the Seinfeld gang; acting sometimes as selfishly as those deplorable Paddy’s Pub managers over on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia – but these characters are strangely endearing in a way that’s perhaps amplified by chardonnay.

Now, I’m not claiming that Cougar Town is the highbrowiest of programs. Heck, its (admittedly horrible) name is derived from a term coined by the Kardashian generation. Yes, Courtney Cox has indulged in so much botox that her Monica Gellar qualities are almost unrecognizable, and her voice can be a little grating. No, you certainly won’t get any intellectual benefit from it, a la Mad Men, or Breaking Bad, or Homeland. I’ll reiterate: Emmy worthy, this ain’t.

But it’s one of the best things on television, and you should give it a chance. Here’s why:

1. Busy Phillips

The world has been seriously lacking in Kim Kelly since the cancellation of Dawson’s Creek, and Bill Lawrence changed that. Sure, we can thank Michelle Williams for making Busy a regular fixture of awards season, but thankfully the enjoyment continues into primetime. On Freaks and Geeks, she was crass, she was mean, she was a bad influence. But we loved her. This go ‘round, she’s Laurie Keller, the ditzy, boozy, personal assistant to Courtney Cox’s Jules.

2. Ian Gomez and Brian Van Holt

Or, as they’re known around the neighborhood, Andy and Bobby. These two idiots are like the Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb of this leisurely Floridian town. They have a mutual manchild-dom that only the other can fully appreciate. Andy serves as wingman, caddy, and basic admirer to Bobby, his only outlet from sometimes ball-busting wife Ellie. In fact, “he loves his wife, almost as much as he loves his coffee. And he loves his coffee almost as much as he loves hanging with Bobby.”

3. Penny Can!

“If the penny goes in the can, you get a point. If it doesn’t, you don’t. First team to 1000 points wins.” And it’s as simple as that. Yep, mindless games are a fixture of Cougar Town, and the cul-de-sac gang gets more than a little cutthroat. If you’re just as ruthless, you can even play online.

4. Crossovers and Cameos

When the fall (and later, midseason) lineup was revealed, and Cougar Town was nowhere to be found, fans were up in arms about the lack of penny can gracing the small screen. So what did creator Bill Lawrence do? He took his characters elsewhere, infusing them into shows across the board – from Grey’s Anatomy to The Middle to Private Practice to Happy Endings and even NBC’s cult favorite, Community. And what does a good TV nerd love more than some meme convergence? Nothing, I tell you. Nothing.

5. Bill Lawrence

Say what you will about Scrubs – that it stayed past its prime; that it was kitschy and lame; that it featured far too much Zach Braff – and I’m likely to agree with you. But what it lacked in depth, it made up for in spunk, and that’s courtesy of showrunner Bill Lawrence. He brings to life a distinct quirkiness in both shows, which if applied to many others, would translate to televised nails on a chalkboard. Remember Scrubs’ tall doctor? What about Rowdy? Or Elliot’s neuroses – so present they could have had top billing? All of Lawrence’s quirks have been bottled up and sprinkled all over Cougar Town, including the presence of his wife, Christa Miller.

Maybe those aren’t reasons enough to sway you to tune in when the show returns February 14th, and I’ve exhausted the past several hundred words reminding myself why I love it – but I hope you’ll at least give it a shot. I know I’ll be there, giant glass of vino in hand, practicing my mad penny can skills.

Reading more Channel Guide rots your brain

Talk about cinematic whiplash. Tron: Legacy director Joseph Kosinksi‘s next project has already gone through myriad incarnations, and the project doesn’t even have an official name yet. Count that as one of the incarnations, I guess, because it’s already had two names and is currently title-less, despite the fact that it’s an adaptation of a graphic novel that Kosinski himself has supposedly written that, you guessed it, has a title.

Kosinksi conceived of and wrote the graphic novel, known as “Oblivion,” with Arvid Nelson for Radical Publishing, and the book was the primed for a film adaptation before it even hit the page. The story is set in a future where the Earth has been irradiated to the point that humanity can no longer inhabit it, and follows a man who lives “above the clouds, safe from the brutal alien Scavengers that stalk the ruins. But when surface drone repairman Jak discovers a mysterious woman in a crash-landed pod, it sets off an unstoppable chain of events that will force him to question everything he knows.” Tom Cruise has long been attached to play Jak, but the film’s two female roles (Jak’s wife back at home and the lady he finds) have been the subject of speculation for months.

Jessica Chastain was attached to the wife role back in September, but had to leave the project, thanks to her now-crammed schedule. Other ladies that tested for the role, including Olga Kurylenko, Brit Marling, Noomi Rapace, and Olivia Wilde, might have been called back, because Kurlylenko has reportedly cinched the role. Even better than that? The news that Andrea Riseborough is set to the play the crash-landed woman. Phew, didn’t think I had another shortlist in me.

Last year, the “shortlist” for the actresses testing for Riseborough’s role included Hayley Atwell, Diane Kruger, and Kate Beckinsale. Though Riseborough is not even close to a household name, she likely slipped into contention thanks to her upcoming slate – a big role in Madonna’s maligned W.E., a starring role in Shadow Dancer (which will premiere at Sundance), and an upcoming part in the James McAvoy-starring Welcome to the Punch.

Kurylenko has been popping up on these types of lists for awhile now, but is perhaps best known for her work in Quantum of Solace. Next up, she’s got roles in Terrence Malick’s next film (also untitled) and Martin McDonagh’s Seven Psychopaths. 

Last we heard, the script for the film has been penned by William Monahan, with a rewrite by Karl Gajdusek and a polish by Michael Arndt. The film is looking to start filming sometime within the next couple of months. [Variety, Barnes and Noble]

This year, we’re dedicated to bringing Sundance straight to you, dear reader, and that includes getting to know some of the faces that make up a stellar Sundance – critics (new and returning), publicists (ever-ready clipboard in hand), producers and distributors (looking for the next big hit to bring to a theater near you), and basically whoever else we stumble upon on the slick (and charming) hill that comprises Main Street. There may be hobos and inanimate objects included as interview subjects, but you’ll just have to wait and see on that one.

First up, Sundance stalwart, James Rocchi. A dear personal friend and an impeccable professional mentor, the twelve-year (maybe?) veteran of the fest has covered Sundance for a variety of outlets, including MSN Movies, Cinematical (R.I.P.), Netflix, IFC, and Indiewire. This year, he’s back to cover the festival for MSN Movies and their magical The Hitlist blog (I say magical, because, hey, I write there too!) and Indiewire’s The Playlist.

After the break, check out ten questions (and answers) about Sundance expectations and experiences with James Rocchi, the dapper, hat-wearing gentleman critic most likely to open a door for you while you discuss George Orwell, even in the middle of a blizzard.

How many times have you been to Sundance?

I *think* this is my 12th year.

What is your favorite Sundance memory?

One would have to be stumbling into a last-day, last-hour, entirely random screening of a film that sounded cool based on the one-sentence synopsis I’d heard…and seeing Rian Johnson’s Brick, as sterling and stunning a debut film — or, for that matter, film — as one could ask for. Another would be a closing-night party memory — as you know, Sundance badges identify filmmakers by their movie — and one year at the Raquet Club, before things got too loud, I saw a woman whose badge identified her as part of Thin, Lauren Greenfield’s amazing documentary on an in-patient eating disorder clinic for women. I praised the film, and she was warm and glad, and we parted — and it was only later that I realized that woman wasn’t part of the filmmaking team, but, rather, one of the subjects, and that I had witnessed her struggle and spirit on-screen, and now she was part of sharing that with others, and Sundance was a a huge part of that, and here she was, seemingly doing much better from a place of strength in her life. It was a moment that snuck up on me, but I think about it to this day.

What is your favorite film that you’ve seen at Sundance?

Good heavens, too many to name. Everything from Brick (as mentioned above) to Thin to Pariah to Better Luck Tomorrow to 28 Days Later to Narc to the Duplass Brothers’ first-ever short Scrapple to Sound of My Voice…

What other festivals do you enjoy going to?

For freelance work purposes, I go to Sundance, SXSW, Toronto, Cannes, Fantastic Fest and both AFI and LAFF.

What film are you most looking forward to at Sundance 2012?

Too many films to name, but something about the premise and cast of Safety Not Guaranteed makes me smile and hope…

What are your tips for those going to Sundance for the first time?

Drink water, preferably with Emergen-C in it; you’re in near- or sub-zero temperatures at 10,000 feet, and it’ll pull all the water out of your body fast. Also, pace yourself.

What is your favorite venue at Sundance and why?

It’s odd, as I don’t go there a lot, but the Egyptian — small, nicely-kept, and tucked away at the top of Main — has a lot of appeal.

Is there something you must always do (or see) while at Sundance (besides movies)?

For me, it’s just nice to see old friends and new, whether journos or filmmakers; Sundance is like a high school reunion, but for the AV club, and it’s great to see far-flung friends. Also, it may not be the Albertson’s any more, but you’re going to wind up there. Guaranteed.

What is the craziest thing that has ever happened to you at Sundance?

I’m not sure, yet, but the best contender is last year, when I — after a few adult beverages at the closing party — found Brit Marling and implored her to not, as was suggested in the post-film Q & A, continue the ideas and plot of Sound of My Voice in other films. I realized, as she stared at me intently, that I was making an ass of myself but plowed on: “Leave it an enigma, a puzzle, a haiku! Don’t over-explain things!” I fully expected her to punch me or storm away angrily after my being so massively presumptuous; instead, she grabbed me by the arm and said “We have to go find (director) Zal Batmangli, so you can tell him EXACTLY THAT.”

Why do you think Sundance is important?

I jokingly say to friends that Sundance is two weeks of nutrition that makes up for the 50 weeks of dessert the mainstream distraction-industrial complex gives us — and yet, it’s true. Sundance isn’t just an incubator for talent — as if it’s supposed to solely provide Hollywood’s hungry maw with wave after wave of new actors, writers and directors — it’s a place in and of itself, where the stories are more personal, more tough, and don’t necessarily come with the happy ending guaranteed. More importantly, Sundance has come to realize this — and it’s recent focus on real independents, like Bellflower or Kid-Thing, as well as the low-budget, high-intensity films of the new Next selection, are helping reverse the ugly years of Sundance being seen, however erroneously, as just Hollywood in parkas.

—

You can follow James on Twitter HERE, and be sure to read his Sundance reviews and reports on MSN Movies’ The Hitlist and Indiewire’s The Playlist.

Snuggle up with the rest of our Sundance 2012 coverage

The Mayans, the wise race of ancients who created hot cocoa, set December 21st, 2012 as the end date of their Calendar, which the intelligent and logical amongst us know signifies the day the world will end, presumably at 12:21:12am, Mountain Time. From now until zero date, we will explore the 50 films you need to watch before the entire world perishes. We don’t have much time, so be content, be prepared, be entertained.

The Film: Ikiru (1952)

The Plot: Upon inferring the news of his close, impending death within a matter of months due to cancer, long-time city bureaucrat Kanji Watanabe (played by Takashi Shimura) struggles through his final days fending off his illness as well as deep depression. As he reflects upon the trajectory of his life he looks back and realizes the damaged relationship with his son and comes to understand the relative insignificance of his job duties over the past decades of city service. After a few weeks of shuffling through different attempts to find some temporary form of happiness he gets invigorated one day at work when he stumbles upon the request of some lower-end neighborhood tenants seeking city approval to fix up their community playground. With only a few months left to live Watanabe fights both time and seemingly endless layers of bureaucracy to see one positive accomplishment come to fruition before he passes.

The Review:

Considering all of the pictures that I’ve seen from Akira Kurosawa (personally, my favorite filmmaker) Ikiru is the one that I’ve recalled in vivid detail even from the first initial viewing of it. From the list of his masterpieces it’s the one that I remember most often and the one I remember the most of. It could be due to it being an atypical film in his filmography – especially in his earlier years – in that it’s neither a samurai epic, nor a noir crime thriller and it doesn’t feature his most oft-used leading man Toshiro Mifune. It may also be his most dramatic feature and by consequence possibly the most emotional. It’s both devastatingly and beautifully humanistic in equal measure in that it portrays us at both our worst and our best.

It’s an inspirational underdog story as well as a display and challenge to the viewer to want to be better in some of the most simplest of ways where we can be and don’t think to be. For Western audiences it’s very Frank Capra, and it retains the best of the romanticism of Frank Capra without abandoning a sense of realism in favor of sticking its toes in a realm of Hollywood fantasy; and whereas some of the best of Capra’s All-American characters, such as Mr. Smith and Mr. Deeds, are fish out of water they’re still prized fish in just about any water, unlike Kanji Watanabe. Smith and Deeds appear out of their league, but in fact they’re just playing the game differently and it takes everyone else time to understand that they are in fact the ones winning. Watanabe is more like the bat-boy being thrown in to the game and its through extreme persistence that he’s able to succeed. Despite barely being able to lift a bat he just doesn’t stop swinging. He’s either going to finally connect, or he’s going to die while trying.

To cap it off, the photographic magnificence throughout almost all of Kurosawa’s pictures, in Ikiru one will find what could be the signature and most iconic (and for lack of a better word, lovely) image of Kurosawa’s career. With snow slowly falling around him, his goal realized and existence satisfyingly purposeful Watanabe sits and swings with a calm bliss in the new playground that came to be because of his ceaseless action for good; and singing Life is Brief with new meaning and perspective. It’s a glorious moment captured gloriously.

But why spend 143 minutes watching this film when you only have 484,873 minutes left alive?

For as much pessimism and depression the film is capable of inducing at the outset considering the dire circumstances of the lead and his outlook towards himself the film convincingly pulls a 180 with the character resulting in a film that inspires not only optimism towards the individual, but optimism about humanity. It conveys just how great an average person can be to inspire change, and in the off-chance that the world ends but *you* don’t then chances are average little you is capable of persevering to do great things for the human race, of you. At the very least there won’t be any other people to form a uselessly complex bureaucratic system and therefore can build as many playgrounds as you want. For yourself.

Team Film School Rejects is about 16 hours from finally heading out to the Sundance Film Festival (we like to show up a couple of days late, in hopes that our beds will be warm for us), and in between the last minute planning, scheduling, packing, and crying jags, it’s high time we stepped back and appreciated the festival for what it is – which is, in no uncertain terms, pretty damn essential to independent film in America. That is something that many of us might forget – it’s easy to when you’re there, freezing cold, hungry, exhausted, and without a ticket to what will surely be “the next big thing” and forced to watch displaced Hollywood glitterati hoof it up Main St. in high heels to hit the next “gifting suite.”

But Sundance matters, and it matters for a hefty number of reasons that we often forget. So, before I wake up at 3:30 in the morning to put my money where my big mouth is, here’s why Sundance matters.

The Sundance Film Festival is the largest independent film festival in the United States (thank goodness Toronto is in Canada and Cannes is in France, amirite?), but the festival sparked from a much more low-key and down-home idea. Sundance was born in August 1978 as the Utah/US Film Festival, a film fest crafted simply to bring more filmmakers to Utah. Fun fact! The festival was founded by Sterling Van Wagenen (who was then the head of Wildwood, Robert Redford’s company) and Utah Film Commission members John Earle and Cirina Hampton Catania. Redford served as Chairperson.

The original aim of the festival was “to showcase strictly American-made films, highlight what the potential of independent film could be and to increase visibility for filmmaking in Utah…the main focus of the event was to conduct a competition for independent American films, present a series of retrospective films and filmmaker panel discussions and to celebrate the Frank Capra Award (given the first year to Jimmy Stewart); it highlighted the work of ‘regional’ filmmakers who worked outside the Hollywood system.” A solid framework? You bet. And the festival accomplished it handily with its first slate, which included (buckle up for this listing, seriously) Deliverance, A Streetcar Named Desire, Midnight Cowboy, Mean Streets, and The Sweet Smell of Success. The Utah/US Film Festival could have ceased to exist after just that first year, and it would still go down in history as one the most stunningly well-programmed film festivals, oh I don’t know, ever.

But the festival didn’t stop there. The next year, Van Wagenen moved on to head up what would later become the Sundance Institute (more on that later), with Hampton Catania moving into the role of Executive Director. Redford upped his work with the festival as inaugural chairman, eventually becoming the face of the fest. The festival decamped from Salt Lake City to Park City, and moved from September to January, reportedly on the advice of no less than Sydney Pollack, who (quite rightly) thought that a ski town-based winter festival would attract Hollywood and the big studios. It did. In 1991, it officially became the Sundance Film Festival, matching up names with Van Wagenen’s already flourishing institute.

Over time, the festival has grown immeasurably – turning out Oscar winners and nominees, partnering up with BAM, bringing its films to London, theaters around America, and right into people’s homes with On-Demand programming. And, of course, the festival has become much more Hollywood-ized (looking at you, “gifting suites”). But Sundance hasn’t just allowed itself to become Utah’s answer to Hollywood, as they’ve sought to put the focus back on films with its stunningly aptly named “Focus on Film” campaign that kicked off in 2007. Proof positive that that festival is still championing indies? Programming categories like NEXT (low budget films), New Frontier (films that merge art and new technology), and Park City at Midnight (the last place you’ll find big name producers looking for a cheap flick).

But, history aside, Sundance matters because it continues to champion independent films and the people who make them.

When it comes to individual films that have broken out at Sundance, even a quick glimpse at just the full list of award winners unleashes a staggering number of films that have led to big things – bigger films, star-making turns, bold indies that broke though, awards season leaders. Films like Senna, Animal Kingdom, Winter’s Bone, An Education, The Cove, Precious, Frozen River, The House of Sand, Junebug, Murderball, Super Size Me, The Station Agent, Capturing the Friedmans, Whale Rider, Secretary, Memento, You Can Count on Me, Girlfight, Run Lola Run, Pi, Welcome to the Dollhouse, The Brothers McMullen, Clerks, Hoops Dreams, El Mariachi, sex, lies and videotape, Blood Simple, the list goes on and on. Other films that broke out at Sundance? Saw, Garden State, Super Troopers, The Blair Witch Project, Better Luck Tomorrow, Primer, Reservoir Dogs, Little Miss Sunshine, Moon, Thank You for Smoking, and Napoleon Dynamite. With immense quality (or, at the very least, originality) like that, well, your eyes just make go a bit wobbly when trying to process them all.

But while naming bevy of films that owe their success and recognizability to Sundance may be a fun parlor trick, what makes the quickest (and hardest) impression is the listing of individual directors who got their big break at the festival: Kevin Smith, Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarantino, Paul Thomas Anderson, Steven Soderbergh, Darren Aronofsky, James Wan, Edward Burns, and Jim Jarmusch. You feel me yet?

But “Sundance” is not just the film festival, it’s also the Sundance Institute, a year-round, multi-level support system for filmmakers that has helped over 5,000 artists and their films with their craft and art. Five thousand. The Institute is a nonprofit organization, that (per their mission statement) “is dedicated to the discovery and development of independent artists and audiences. Through its programs, the Institute seeks to discover, support, and inspire independent film and theatre artists from the United States and around the world, and to introduce audiences to their new work.”

The institute’s Artist Programs are conducted through Labs and Fellowships, including the Feature Film Program (features to come out of the program? Films like HOWL, Sin Nombre, and Amreeka), the Documentary Film Program, the Theatre Program (yup, the institute also supports plays), the Native American and Indigenous Program, the Film Music Program’s Composers Lab, the Creative Producing Initiative (a year-round series of programs for up and coming indie producers), the Alumni Initiative, and their FILM FORWARD program (which helps nurture cross-cultural independent film understanding). If you are an independent filmmaker of any persuasion, the Sundance Institute can help and support you. The same cannot be said for other festivals.

Earlier this morning, we rolled out our first of many mini-interviews with some of the various movers and shakers at Sundance – critics, publicists, producers, distributors, filmmakers, and more. Each interview will end with one question – “why do you think Sundance is important?” As of now, we’ve conducted five interviews, and not one interviewee has balked at the question. Even the driest of wits has paused, reflected, and given answers that are startlingly candid, and though all the answers have been different, there’s been one common thread – Sundance matters to them, as a home for creativity that will continue for years to come, as a glimpse at the future, as a microcosm of what independent cinema can (and should) be.

—

Snuggle up with the rest of our Sundance 2012 coverage

With the Twilight Saga film franchise (thankfully) wrapping up this year, fans of author Stephenie Meyer are turning their attention to the next film to spring from one of her works. The Host is being adapted from Meyer’s crack at more adult fiction and, while the book itself is a touch more advanced than Twilight, it still relies on some familiar tropes – love triangles, concocted mythology, the somewhat sci-fi, and lots and lots of drama. And now it looks as if the film version (from writer and director Andrew Niccol) will have something else in common with Twi-land – a way too attractive cast.

Saoirse Ronan has long been attached to play the lead character of Melanie Stryder, a teenage girl who lives in a future world where Earth has been invaded by an alien race (the Souls) who take over human bodies (a la Invasion of the Body Snatchers), but with a much less nefarious edge to their plan. Melanie is one of the few remaining full humans, and she spends her days on the run with her little brother and her boyfriend Jared (to be played by Max Irons), until she too is caught by the Souls (who are also highly organized) and implanted with one of the parasitic aliens – who eventually goes by the name Wanderer and then Wanda. Of course, Melanie and her memories prove to much even for the experienced alien (who has been implanted in no less than eight other species over her long lifespan), and the two begin to battle for control of Melanie’s body. And then there’s the rebel settlement they flee to. And the other attractive dude who falls for Wanda (Jake Abel). And some battles and misunderstandings and horrific medical experiments to round it out.

And then there is also “The Seeker” who is tasked with finding rebellious old Melanie/Wanderer/Wanda. Another Soul, the Seeker is the principal villain of the novel, and is routinely described “as short, tiny in fact, with olive-toned skin, long black hair and slightly bulging eyes.” So, of course she’ll be played by Diane Kruger, who is 5’7″, with pale skin and blond hair. Of course! Who else could possibly do such a role? Was Christina Ricci unavailable? No, seriously, Christina Ricci. Come on.

Deadline Tucson reports that, however ill-suited she may be looks-wise, Kruger is currently negotiating for the role. However, she reportedly removed herself from contention for a role in Joseph Kosinski’s next project (which just got cast) so that she could take on this role in The Host. So, Kruger is either really passionate about the film, or pretty in tune with what’s hot with the kids these days.

The film already has a March 29, 2013 release date set, and will reportedly be the first film in a trilogy (despite the fact that its source material is just one book, and one book that could stand to have its first hundred or so pages slashed).

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr dresses up in his favorite Jedi robe, grabs his lightsaber and heads out to see the latest George Lucas movie…and boy does he look stupid. After realizing that Red Tails has nothing to do with the color of creatures’ backsides in the Tattooine cantina, he then dresses in his favorite “Team Jacob” tee shirt to see the latest vampire/werewolf movie. Again, he looks ridiculous. Finally, he sulks into a movie theater showing the new Steven Soderbergh film, falls in love with new action star Gina Carano and is happy.

Want to hear what Kevin has to say on the Fat Guys at the Movies podcast? Click here to listen as Kevin is joined by Emily Intravia from DeadlyDollsHouse.com and Gleekast to chat about the new movies of the week.

HAYWIRE
Studio: Relativity Media

Rated: R for some violence

Starring: Gina Carano, Channing Tatum, Ewan McGregor, Michael Douglas and Michael Fassbender

Directed by: Steven Soderbergh

What it’s about: MMA fighter Gina Carano takes on her first starring role as Mallory, an ex-Marine who works as a mercenary for a private company. When she’s betrayed in the field and almost killed, she goes rogue to seek revenge and to clear her name.

What makes the grade: With Haywire, Soderbergh does for the rogue agent action film what he did for the heist movie with Oceans Eleven. While the genre itself has been overdone in the past decade or so, Soderbergh offers a unique twist on it.

There’s nothing terribly unique about Haywire aside from its delivery, which has a distinctive Soderbergh vibe to it – from the pacing and editing to the cinematography and music selection. This gives the film a fresh feeling while treading some worn paths.

Soderbergh relies on Carano to carry the film, but he wisely doesn’t heap heavy emotion and acting moments on her. Instead, he lets her deliver lines with a deadpan feel and almost emotionless quality that works for the role. Unlike Taylor Lautner drowning in his own bad acting in a movie like Abduction, Carano isn’t overtaxed and is just allowed to do what she does best – kick a whole lotta ass and look hot as hell doing it.

What fails: The biggest hurdle that Haywire has is rising above itself. There’s very little new in the story, and we’ve seen a lot of these techniques before. Allowing Carano to change her adorable outfits too often gives the film an unbelievable quality to it, but this is a small problem to have with the movie.

Who is gonna like this movie: People who want a new approach to a rogue agent movie.

RED TAILS
Studio: 20th Century Fox

Rated: PG-13 for some sequences of war violence

Starring: Terrence Howard, Cuba Gooding Jr., Bryan Cranston, Daniela Ruah and Michael B. Jordan

Directed by: Anthony Hemingway

What it’s about: George Lucas executive produces this historical war film about the Tuskegee Airmen who make a name for themselves as reliable pilots during World War II.

What makes the grade: Really, the only reason to see Red Tails is for the dogfight sequences. It’s quite a brilliant movie when the pilots are in their planes, shooting down German fighters. The set-up and delivery of these scenes show where Lucas drew inspiration for the massive battle sequences in the Star Wars films, and as long as the planes are flying, it’s a great adventure.

What fails: Unfortunately, the planes don’t fly during the bulk of the film. Instead, we’re left with a dull, uninspired plot with alarmingly racist characters (including one who plays the guitar and talks like a cartoon character, a mechanic with a goofy hat always yelling at the pilots about repairs and a young pilot constantly praying to “black Jesus”) and no real direction.

The real shame of Red Tails is that it uses every old war movie cliche, borrowing heavily from the plot of the World War I fighter pilot movie Flyboys and even last summer’s Captain America. There is no real star of the film, which is confusing since the above-the-line stars (Cuba Gooding Jr. and Terrence Howard) share about fifteen minutes of screen time total.

It’s not a terrible movie, but the two-hour-plus running time drags as we follow characters we don’t really care about, leaving the audience to check their watches and wonder when the next dogfight battle will take place.

Who is gonna like this movie: Anyone who really wants to see a movie about the Tuskegee Airmen, even if it’s not that good.

UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING
Studio: Screen Gems

Rated: R for strong violence and gore, and for some language

Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, India Eisley, Charles Dance and Michael Ealy

Directed by: Måns Mårlind

What it’s about: After the vampires and lycans are discovered to exist, the humans start a cleansing of the races. Selene (Kate Beckinsale) is captured and held in stasis for twelve years during this time. When she wakes up, she finds herself on the run with her hybrid daughter (India Eisley), discovering a new lycan threat that could wipe out all surviving vampires forever.

What makes the grade: By this time, you should know what is appealing about these Underworld movies. They feature lots of fighting, lots of bullets, many shots of Kate Beckinsale’s skinny ass in a leather cat suit, plenty of steely glares and not a shred of humor. If that’s what you look for in a movie, you’ll think this is the greatest movie of the year. I suppose it delivers the bloody R-rated action well enough, even if the story behind it really makes no sense. The best thing I can say about the movie considering this point is that at least Chuck Norris wasn’t involved.

What fails: It’s not like the Underworld movies have been brilliantly crafted and developed films. They’ve been standard action-horror films that took themselves way too seriously for the better part of a decade. Sure, Beckinsale’s back, but her character is as flat and as boring as ever. No prospect of vampire motherhood makes her any more interesting.

The film suffers from what made the other movies laughable. No one runs, but rather swaggers with their leather dusters flapping in the wind. People (and vampires and lycans) are slaughtered often for no other reason than they’re in the way, and often in a spray of CGI blood. The plot barely makes sense from scene to scene, relying on stuffy line delivery and nonsensical action sequences to propel the movie.

But if you can’t wait for the next Resident Evil movie to deliver the same thing, this will do in a pinch.

Who is gonna like this movie: Anyone who has spent time on a message board defending the other Underworld movies.

Has a titular character for a tentpole film ever been muted in their own previews? That seems to be the case for Universal Pictures’ flashy-looking Snow White and the Huntsman, which so far seems hellbent on not letting its lead, played by Kristen Stewart, utter a single word in the previews. It’s probably wise to let Charlize Theron do all the talking, but how do you not give Snow White at least one line? Even Chris Hemsworth gets to open his mouth and yell in slow motion once again, Thor-style. Stewart is only given the exciting task of gazing off and acting lost.

This is only a 60 second preview and I’m sure we’ll see Stewart say something before the film comes out, but after two previews with zero dialogue, it’s starting to get a bit comical. Check it out after the break.

And when exactly will Universal boast about that amazing supporting cast they got here? Ray Winstone, Toby Jones, Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins, Eddie Marsan, and Nick Frost is what every nerd would deem to be a dream team.

Snow White and the Huntsman opens in theaters on June 1, 2012. [Facebook, via HeyUGuys]

In 1995, HBO produced a film called The Tuskegee Airmen chronicling the heroic story of the first squadron of African-American fighter pilots during WWII. The HBO version stars Laurence Fishburne, Malcolm-Jamal Warner, John Lithgow, and Cuba Gooding Jr. I don’t mention this film because of its obscurity, or to thereby prove my film knowledge by pointing it out. I offer this film as favorable alternative to wasting two hours of time on the irrecoverable nosedive that is Red Tails.

I’ll say it again, the story of the Tuskegee Airmen is beyond heroic and deserves multiple competent cinematic revisits. These were men who fervently, and with their very lives, defended a country that made policy of oppressing and mistreating them. Not only that, but they also proved to be one of the most effective and successful fighter battalions of the entire war. The larger themes of honor, duty, and sacrifice so inherent and alive in their story are reduced to After School Special platitudes in the George Lucas-produced and Anthony Hemingway-directed Red Tails. Instead of genuine traits, all of the characters occupy loosely-fitting archetypes mined from the most trite of “guys on a mission” tropes. That guy is the hot-headed glory hound, that guy is the goofy one, that guy has a drinking problem, that guy is in love, that guy looks like Denzel Washington. Okay, that last one is actually specific to Red Tails but it no less proves to be that actor’s only marketable skill.

Cuba Gooding Jr. (yes, he’s in this one too), as rusty as one would expect from a barely passable actor relegated to direct-to-video cinema for the last five years, distinguishes himself by…chomping on a pipe throughout the film; distilling his character’s entire personality into an oral fixation. And then of course, there is obligatory evil German, replete with scar, whose dialogue (which mind you is subtitled and could have easily been changed after the first edit) is not only contrived, mustache-twirly villainisms, but also often times counter to reason. “Those pilots are rookies” he quips inaccurately, somehow believing himself able to deduce this by looking at their planes from a distance.

It isn’t bad enough that the lines of dialogue being delivered by nearly every actor in this film is basic Point-A-To-Point-B Screenwriting 101 nonsense, as if all the dialogue for the principal characters was culled from the throwaway, barely audible drivel usually assigned to extras, but the staggering lack of emotional resonance with which each is uttered is jaw-dropping. Some of the worst examples came from the white pilots of the bombers who would see the Tuskegee Airmen and say, as coldly and as flatly as it appears in this text, “I sure hope we get their help again.” For their part, the Airmen drop punchlines as stale and flavorless as military rations with conviction that would deeply trouble a first-year community theater director; at one point cutting to a pilot just so he could mouth-fart “damn.” But perhaps this is just my ignorance at play, I guess I didn’t realize the Tuskegee Airmen were also known as the 332nd Flying Table Reads.

And speaking of reading the script, I feel I must pose the question as to whether anyone actually did so before shooting began. There are so many logical errors at work here you’ll want to claw your eyes out. Firstly, the whole film is supposed to be about how the Tuskegee Airmen had to fight against racist bureaucracy in order to earn the right to fly in important missions as opposed to just scouting territory already long-cleared of enemy presence. And yet, once they do earn that right, there is never a sense of completion to any of their missions. There’s a ham-fisted point made in the opening about how most fighter pilots abandon their convoys, which they are tasked with protecting, to chase the glory of shooting down German fighters. So to establish themselves in their first convoy mission, the airmen of Red Tails…abandon their bombers to chase the glory of shooting down enemy bombers.

This becomes the standard for every subsequent mission, and all the while they run into previously bigoted white pilots who are now treating them like equals and thanking them for getting their bombers home safely. EVEN THOUGH THEY NEVER DID THIS ONCE! This flimsy logic is apparently not confined to the Allies. At one point, during a vital bombing campaign over Berlin, the German squad commander, Colonel Scars Von BaddenDuden, calls off his fighters stating of the bombers, “we’ll get them on the way back.” THE WAY BACK? As in, AFTER THEY’VE BOMBED BERLIN?! What sort of strategy is that? “We’ll lose the war through laziness, but they’ll sure pay for it later.”

I won’t waste time pointing out every logical fallacy, as this review would be a near line-for-line deconstruction, but one other moment really bothered me. When the general tells them to paint the tails of their new planes red, so they stand out, one of the airmen proudly exclaims, “like the Red Barron!” Yes, like the Red Barron, the GERMAN fighter pilot! No one bothers to correct him nor does it ever even register to anyone as an odd comment. Face. Palm.

The other major problem with this film, and one only augmented by the numerous problems heretofore mentioned, is its clunky pacing. Red Tails is a film that apparently took twenty-three years to produce, and seemingly just slightly longer to sit through. Every glimmer of momentum that springs through the mire is thoroughly and mercilessly stomped out by maddeningly superfluous secondary storylines. I am willing to forgive unnecessary romantic subplots in any script as there is always a faction of your audience that craves it. However, when that romance is between two people who do not speak the same language and spend nearly all of their time on screen sighing in frustration that they can’t speak to one another and looking at the floor, it seems doubly primed for the cutting room floor. Oh, and take a wild guess what happens to lover boy when he puts a picture of his lost-in-translation girlfriend in his cockpit. Incoming cliches at twelve o’clock high! And then there’s the airmen who gets shot down, captured, and helps a group of undeveloped, barely introduced, POW characters escape. This again would have been forgivable if the end of this story wasn’t a “next week on Red Tails” fade out and a neck-breaking cut to the next seen. We’re, of course, later regaled with the story of what happened to him through exposition, but only so it can set up a hackneyed, wholly unearned moment of forced heroism at the end.

So all in all, no ,I didn’t care much for Red Tails. The story of the Tuskegee Airmen deserves more than the incendiary lip service paid here. Ultimately, even the important through-line subplot of America working through its racist past was touched upon just enough to free Anthony Hemingway, or much more likely Lucas, of accusations of completely ignoring it while simultaneously glossing over it with the broadest possible strokes to ensure that no one is offended. Yes, because that is how you tell a story of the triumph of great men over adversity…water down the adversity. Also, if ever a George Lucas project needed John Williams, it was Red Tails. If the score had featured Williams’ typically rousing themes, perhaps the aerial battles would not have induced so many yawns. Hell, I would have even taken the android ejaculate that is the dubstep in the trailer over the somatic tones of the ABC movie-of-the-week soundtrack.

The Upside: There are WWII planes involved.

The Dowside: Pretty much everything else.

On the Side: Lucas directed all the reshoots of Red Tails when Hemingway was busy with the HBO series Treme. I’m not saying this explains all of Red Tails’ problems, but it explains a lot of Red Tails’ problems.