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Hey There, Obvious Prequel – ‘Prometheus’ Trailer Finally Lands Online

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All I want for Christmas is for the bizarre trickle (leaks and all) of Prometheus marketing (teaser trailers for teaser trailers? seriously?) to stop and for everyone to stop ruminating on how Ridley Scott‘s latest fits into the Alien universe. It’s clearly a prequel, but that could just be the eggnog talking.

The film stars a seriously wonderful cast that includes Noomi Rapace (in just her second English-language role), Charlize Theron, Michael Fassbender, and Idris Elba. The film was once touted as a direct prequel to Scott’s 1979 sci-fi classic Alien, though since the film’s initial conception, the cast and crew of the film have turned cagey, tossing off terms like “being in the same universe of” the Alien films, which was weird enough already. And that was until said marketing trickle, with all signs pointing to “yes, this is a prequel.” And, today, finally the first trailer for the film, which hits two notes – “incredibly awesome” and “totally a prequel.” I’ll stop hemming and hawing now and let you take in the trailer for one of 2012′s most anticipated new releases.

Check out the first (really, actually, truly official) trailer for Prometheus after the break.

What’s most intriguing about this trailer is that recently revealed tagline – “They went looking for our beginning, what they found be our end.” You know what they say about Prometheus – don’t steal intelligence from great beings and give it to lesser beings and not expect to have your liver eaten out of your own body every day.

What say you? Do you agree that Prometheus is clearly a prequel to Alien? Or do you think I am totally off-base and it’s something different? Have at it.

Prometheus opens on June 8, 2012. [DigitalSpy]


The 12 Funniest Musical Moments in (Non-Musical) Movies

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If it were up to me, every movie would be required at least one musical number. Seriously, every movie. Children Of Men would have a song in it, Sophie’s Choice as well. Why? I don’t know – it would be funny I guess. Fine, so it’s probably not a great idea. I take it back. I just get excited when a song becomes the center of a scene – especially in comedies.

People rarely have the nibs to stick a good musical sequence or two in their non-musical genre films, so let’s take a moment to pay our respects to those who did it so well by arbitrarily judging them in list form.

12. Johnny B. Goode In Back To The Future

I have so much personal nostalgia surrounding this film that I often forget that it’s a comedy. Marty McFly performing Chuck Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode” and accidentally inventing Rock N’ Roll in the process has to be the trademark of the entire trilogy. What strikes me as particularly funny about the whole thing is how quickly everyone, the band and the students, just run with it. Like suddenly these musicians just ‘follow along’ and play a perfect rendition of “Johnny B. Goode” in every way. Then of course you have the obvious Michael J. Fox lip-syncing to top it off. All this makes for a delightfully goofy scene, which of course sets up the punch line at the end of Marty completely ruining the moment with his more modern showboating.

11. Day-O In Beetlejuice

Hard to imagine just how awesome the rehearsals for this were – and in the end they really pulled this off. It comes out of freaking nowhere, which is awesome, but what really sells the scene is the look on everyone’s face as their possessed bodies dance against their wills. The mix of odd curiosity and horror, along with forced pleasure gets me every single time. The star performance is clearly Catherine O’Hara’s, as she embodies every element of what makes this bit work so nicely. My only nagging question is: why would anyone think this would be a good way to scare someone out of your house? Sure, the shrimp were a little freaky at the end, but phantom Harry Belafonte dance numbers are well worth a little haunting – as seen in the closing scene of this film.

10. Build Me Up Buttercup In There’s Something About Mary

I absolutely love it when you sit through a comedy and, right as you think it’s all over, you get hit with something like this. A surefire way to make your audience come out smiling is to have a little song and dance as your closing sequence. What makes this particular music video work is that it, right at the end, immediately takes you back through everything you just saw – only with everyone singing and dancing to The Foundations for no good reason besides it being awesome as shit.

The extra layer that hits me with this is that because movies are shot location to location, they must have had to take a little time out in every location to shoot just a little bit of the song – if not the entire thing. That must have been so fun for the first few weeks, and then pain inducing for every following week after.

And while we’re talking about ending credits songs…

9. Aquarius In The 40 Year Old Virgin

You watch this film hoping, waiting for that moment when Steve Carell’s character Andy finally gets a piece. In the end, the reward for your patience is well, WELL worth it. Much like There’s Something About Mary – the sequence brings back all the characters, big and minor, to dance hilltop in celebration of Andy’s new love to the tune of Aquarius from the musical Hair. It’s ridiculous as hell, but also such a blissful moment that you can’t help but to feel a little fuzzy about it while you laugh your ass off. I think for me, it’s the colorful fabric banners that really did it – that, and of course, the folksy dancing and overall shirtlessness. Probably my favorite detail of all has to be Jonah Hill dancing in a poncho – that image is rather unbeatable.

8. Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In) In The Big Lebowski

It must be tough to be Jeff Bridges and know that the role you were born to play was a character called ‘The Dude.’ But… well… god what a role – what a movie! And everything that makes this Coen Brothers masterpiece so damn entertaining comes together in one beautiful drug induced porno movie inspired sequence lovingly entitled ‘Gutterballs’ and set to Kenny Rogers’s “Just Dropped In.”

What makes this whole ordeal so adorable has to be Lebowski’s slick dance moves as he seduces Julianne Moore’s Viking clad dream-world facsimile. Also Peter Stormare running with giant scissors is just a wonderful thing to have happened in the history of cinema. To top it off, pretty much everything you see in this sequence is something related to the rest of the film. For example, those scissors that Stormare is running around with can be see painted in the background of an earlier scene.

7. Still In Office Space

Watch it here!

If you’ve never beaten up a piece of electronic equipment you’ve never really lived. What makes this scene great is that, like the movie itself, everyone who has ever worked in an office environment – or even just worked with technology of any kind – can relate to this scene 100%. I don’t go a day without screaming at some blank-faced piece of electronics stalling on me like some robot asshole, and the fantasy of just smashing it through with a bat is a common one for many different reasons.

The idea alone of the quest for simplicity in life is enough to make three guys in suits bashing a copier/printer in the middle of a field to the Geto Boys the most satisfying imagery in a film – not to mention one of the funniest. But the cherry on top is of course the hatred this thing has invoked in these men and the catharsis of the kill. Michael Bolton’s refusal to let up is amazing, but the winner of the scene is Peter – look at him standing there, the man who set this whole thing up simply watches the brutality and savors it without a single blow.

6. You’re The Voice In Hot Rod

I feel like not enough people saw this film. It’s probably one of my favorites casts, which includes the SNL-famous trio from The Lonely Island as well as some of the funniest people around like Bill Hader, Danny McBride, Chris Parnell, and Will Arnett. This particular moment in the film, which actually serves as the turning point of the plot that I believe brings us into the third act, is portrayed simply in song as our main character is joined with the rest of his friends while walking down the street to John Farnham’s “You’re The Voice.” Then something… weird happens. Okay weirder. It’s an amazing progression from kind of silly spoof on a movie cliché to an amazing moment of ridiculousness followed by one of the funniest reaction conversations ever. That’s really what makes it all work, when they get out of the situation and react the way any normal person would in that situation, asking “What the hell? Was that because of us?”

5. Puttin’ On The Ritz In Young Frankenstein

Mel Brooks films are kind of something you have to grow up with to find funny – at least that’s what I’ve come to realize from discussing them with friends. Either you love them or you don’t. So with the clip above I expect a very polarized reaction in terms of funniness. However I think the reason why it never fails to make me personally laugh is really the simplicity of the song and dance, we know what’s coming every time Gene Wilder cues Peter Boyle’s monster portrayal, but it’s funny nonetheless. Combine that with the monster’s vacant but excited gaze and stiff cane work and this becomes easier one of the funniest dance sequences in a film.

4. Hip To Be Square In American Psycho

Watch it here!

Okay, maybe this isn’t exactly “HA HA” funny…well, it kind of is. I know I laughed the first time I saw Christian Bale’s Patrick Bateman shuffling around in a raincoat frantically explaining the intricacies of Huey Lewis & The News to a drunk Jared Leto while preparing to hack into his face with an ax. The comedy to be found comes from the horror of what is inevitably about to go down combined with Bale’s happy-go-lucky performance and amazing dialogue, followed by Leto’s all too slow progression as his inebriated mind pieces together that something is terribly wrong with the situation and Bateman’s brief and honest responses to his inquiries.

Then, all of it comes into a perfect climax as we realize that what we are actually seeing is a man chop up another man in the middle of a beautiful apartment to the tune of “Hip To Be Square” by Huey Lewis. How can you not lose it at such a beautifully absurd moment? For the record, this scene was neck and neck for this list with the Phil Collins’ “Sussudio” sex scene – the deciding factor being the fact that I’m not really sure I’m allowed to link to such a scene.

3. Knights Of The Round Table In Monty Python And The Holy Grail

 

Monty Python And The Holy Grail is a film that they would never make today, and that makes me sad. You just can’t end a film with everyone getting randomly arrested anymore, and you certainly can’t blow off Camelot, ground zero of King Arthur lore, in a single song and dance routine. But there we have it – the beauty of this film, the beauty of Monty Python in general. These guys never failed to mix absurdity and talent together to create comedy art – and it was art.

My biggest fear is that this film will be missed by newer generations; it’s truly timeless in its humor. What makes this particular moment really work for me is two things: the stupidly joyful looks on the knights’ faces as they dance about, and then of course the punchline reveal that the whole song appears to be some kind of shared delusion of the group, concluding that Camelot is not worth the time – that’s literally as much sense as you can make of it. Of course there’s the cutaway to the prisoner clapping along in the dungeon – gets me every time that does.

2. Don’t Stop Me Now In Shaun Of The Dead

Of course. This scene literally makes my heart race in excitement every time I see it. Something about fighting zombies to Queen just gets me so pumped. The progression is amazing as it goes from simply having “Don’t Stop Me Now” playing innocently in the background to it becoming the metronome for a zombie assassination. What I love most is the characters’ frustration with the situation’s seriousness as they truly struggle with gravity of things, but at the same time they inadvertently go along with the silliness by strobing the lights and instinctively striking to the beat. Then as matters get exacerbated further, as the zombies break in and Shaun takes a dart to the dome, the scene begins to just spew madness. All a while we are watching this poor zombie who is being taken out in what should hold the record for least effective zombie killing method.

Oh hey – speaking of Queen…

1. Bohemian Rhapsody In Wayne’s World

I mean, obviously. There’s not much I can even say here – it’s the freaking “Bohemian Rhapsody” scene. Here’s a story for you, many years ago I took a trip to London where I spent most of my time randomly walking the streets with a friend. We met up with a group of young punk rockers who wanted us to join them on a fairly long subway trip to go see this movie being publicly played in the middle of a field in some random park. We took the trip and found ourselves in a field of what must have been thousands, all picnicking with their kids or drinking with friends – young, old, middle class, poor, rich – there was no divide amongst us. And then came this scene, and everyone knew the words. EVERYONE. A whole field of people headbanging together as one – perfect harmony. It was truly beautiful.

Happy Holidays, everybody!

Queen rules.

Interview: Cameron Crowe Talks Capturing Feelings, The Longevity of ‘Vanilla Sky,’ and Movie Diaries

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We Bought a Zoo strives to be Cameron Crowe‘s biggest crowd-pleaser yet, and it’s coming after two of his most splitting features. Elizabethtown was not met kindly and Vanilla Sky either blew your mind or frustrated the hell out of you, despite being a film that made one of the most likable movie stars a total narcissist whose face is mostly hidden — how many directors do that to movie stars? Not many. Crowe doesn’t exactly disfigure Matt Damon in his Christmas release, but the film does what Crowe usually does best: showing good-natured people simply trying to do their best.

While speaking to Crowe, he reminded me a lot of his films — someone who clearly wears his heart on his sleeve, and not in an artificial way. In fact, the first thing Crowe said to me left a big goofy smile on my face for days, which is what his films usually do as well. The man was kind enough to give me extra time, and even by the end I felt like we could have gone on for hours.

The writer-director and I spent more time than I expected but hoped on Vanilla Sky, as well as his writing process, how old films are like diary entries, and why it’s easier to make cynical films nowadays.

At what point did Fox suggest doing the early screenings?

I’ve never been in a position of entering the holiday fray quite in this way. When they said, “We’re going to date your movie,” I didn’t know what it meant [Laughs], and it was that they wanted to put it out two days before Christmas. I think it was a bold move of their’s to say, “Let’s sneak it early, put it out there, and hopefully the movie itself is the best spokesman for what it is.” Luckily people showed up, and it seemed to really effect them. I like that the studio seems to believe in the movie so much that they just want to show it and be proud of it.

As I wrote, the film is the furthest thing from cynical. Like everyone else, why haven’t you become cynical and jaded yet?

[Laughs] You know what’s funny? Right now it’s actually harder it seems to make a movie that is uncynical, because people are going through such a tough time. So many of the movies and stories are reflecting the grief, anger and rage, and it’s kind of easier to make that movie now. A movie that wears its heart on its sleeve has a rocky birth, so I was really proud to make it. Like, Billy Wilder is one of my favorites of all time, of course. He’s a guy who had clear eyed — I wouldn’t call it cynicism — whimsical view of all the pain, strife, and backstabbing in the world. That’s a really great way of filmmaking, too. This one, for me, felt like an expression of joy. Sometimes you can’t experience joy without grief or loss, and that’s in there too. It’s that great happy-sad feeling that I love about music, which I thought this movie could catch. That’s my favorite thing in movies and songs. We Bought a Zoo felt like a great happy-sad story. When we got Jónsi‘s music in there it took that joyful feeling to another place.

My mom went to see an early screening on sneak night. She went to the bathroom, and there was a woman in there. She walked up to the woman and asked, “So, what’d you think?” The woman just put her hands up and said, “I’m still in the feeling!” [Laughs] She blew my mom off. My mom told me that story and I was like, “Yes! That was the goal, to create that feeling.” You can stay in that feeling a little longer than the movie.

[Laughs] That’s always a nice and rare experience.

Yeah! I remember seeing Close Encounters a long time ago, and it was an early screening. All these people were waiting to get in and they were like, “What’d you think? What’d you think? What happens?” I was like, “I must go for a walk! I can’t speak!” [Laughs] I was a little bit that way after seeing The Descendants, and that’s my favorite thing. When the movie takes you a little bit outside of your experience and you gotta still breathe that air, that’s my favorite.

Not to make a bad transition, but I think both The Descendants and We Bought a Zoo find those little human moments which mean a lot. What’s the process of getting that down in the writing process?

Often it comes from real life, because that’s generally the stuff that comes out of me when I’m writing. The thing you’ve just gone through just bubbles to the surface and says, “Write me! Write that feeling you had yesterday when this and that happened.” Pretty much down the line, that’s what people respond to — the stuff that came from real life. That’s a good signal. Writing at its best can be authentic and create a universal feeling, ya know?

Does that type of searching also make the writing process more difficult? I’d imagine you sometimes think, “This could be a great scene, but it probably wouldn’t be realistic.”

Yeah, also you don’t want to be looking inward all the time. I think it’s kind of a dance you do with yourself. Like, what’s the story that’ll mean something to you? Your life is the research for anything that you write. Generally, in writing, there are little things that become bullies you swim to in a project that just make you go, “Well, there’s this scene and that scene.” I remember in Say Anything it was Lloyd talking into the tape recorder about his lost relationship with Diane. Everytime I didn’t feel like that was on firm footing or where we’re going with the movie, I’d always think of that scene with the tape recorder and we’d get back on track. When we started showing the movie, that was one of the scenes where people just really responded. I think Pauline Kael, in one of her last reviews, was like, “I don’t get everything with this movie, but I love that sad John Cusack talking into a tape recorder!” [Laughs] I remember reading that in a mall when I had just got the New Yorker and I went, “Yeah!” It’s never changed — it’s always been about a handful of scenes that have been your bullies. In this movie, it was the argument with the son in the hallway and the last scene of the movie, where Matt reenacts when he first his wife.

Was that process different at all on Vanilla Sky? Did the trippy feel of that movie affect that process?

That’s a really good question. Again, it’s the stuff that’s grounded in the personal. I’ve always loved the idea of Noah Taylor saying, at one point, “Am I blowing your mind?” [Laughs] I love that. That was dialog I thought would be really fun. Or when that guy says, “This is the revolution of the mind,” that was a big thing. Also, sad Tom Cruise watching the Thanksgiving parade go past him his window in New York scene was another one of those bullies. It’s fun, it’s fun to think about it now.

It’s interesting how, unlike the rest of your films, that film is about someone very narcissistic and there’s some cynicism to it. At the time, did you see it as going outside of your wheelhouse?

I did, I did. I love Abre los ojos and liked that this was a movie that could shake it up. It was kind of a way I read other people talking about their punk rock experiences, where there would be one record they made and didn’t think about. They went in with a producer who knew how to work fast and just banged up this thing that may have rough edges, but it was a snapshot of how they felt at the time. That was Vanilla Sky — a chaotic look at an internal life through a prism of pop culture. You’re getting bombard with all these images of paradise and pain, and everybody’s throwing their images at you. Where’s the personal in the middle of that chaos? That was the idea. So we were going to make the movie the way the movie felt, with the search of meaning. You know, I saw Vanilla Sky not too long ago, and I gotta say, there are things here and there that make me go, “Whoa, that could’ve been different or you could’ve done that.” Overall, it completely matched what we were going for. It felt like a cry the inner-caves of pop culture [Laughs].

I like how you described it as being similar to punk rock. At the time I remember my Dad seeing it, and I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but he hated it.

Oh yeah.

But, to me, it had that punk rock feel of, “He doesn’t get it, but I do.”

You know, Jack, when they first showed that movie I think people were still upset about 9/11 and it had been advertised a bit like it was a Fatal Attraction story. When it became obvious that it wasn’t that and was more risky and psychedelic, they would send people up the aisles of the theater saying, “This is not the movie you think it is! This is a warning!” I was like, “Wow, that’s like what they do for smell-o vision or something.” [Laughs] It’s like, “We did something different here.” I gotta say, through the years, that is the movie I hear about the most, that and Almost Famous.

It almost seems like a post-9/11 movie, actually. There is that theme of finding meaning in a terrible situation.

Yeah. We made it, you know, right before 9/11 and it came out after 9/11. It was kind of like a message from pre-9/11 to post-9/11, and it was disturbing. I love Noah Taylor. Also, underrated Tom Cruise.

I love the idea of casting a movie star of that caliber, and then making him an asshole whose face is behind a mask for a lot of the film. When making that film, did you ever get a note saying, “What are you doing?”

No, no notes at all. Tom really wanted to bravely go right to that. [Pause] They’re handing me notes that I got to go, but we will hold them off! Tom was constantly driving the protective element of that movie in such a great way. Not only did he not want the paparazzi not to get a picture of him in the disfigured make-up, he didn’t want anyone to know much about what we were doing. We ramped up fast, similarly to We Bought a Zoo. It was, “There’s a feeling, and let’s go quickly and catch it.” Tom was really a big fan of us doing something different and surprising people. You know, not unlike going to the top of the building in Dubai for Mission Impossible, he was like, “Man, you wanna clear Times Square? Let’s do it!” It was that kind of spirit of adventure that we were into. Again, when you get an actor like Tom or Matt Damon — who are just skilled, experienced, and trust you — you just feel like you can go, go, go. In the case of Vanilla Sky, it took years for people to understand what that movie was trying to do. Now, they get it. The Roots are obsessed with Vanilla Sky! When we were on the Jimmy Fallon Show, I thought they were kidding at first. Man, they’re working on a tribute album with samples from Vanilla Sky! I just love it. It makes you feel like everything you do is like a rocket you send out, and sometimes it lands way, way off into the future someplace.

When a movie like that and Elizabethtown get those type of divisive reactions, how do you approach that? Do you see them as being movies not for everyone or do you begin to wonder if there’s something wrong with them?

I think you have to ask yourself, “Is it authentic? Are those songs meaningful to you? Did you write it from yourself heart? Did you tell that story from an authentic place?” The answer is such a resounding yes, for both of them. You kind of have to say, “If you’re lucky enough to do a bunch of stuff, some of them are going to affect people differently.” No, I don’t really rethink it. Elizabethtown was for my Dad, and that is really a souvenir of the feeling my dad left behind. In the way the personal stuff tends to resonate really strongly, it resonated strongly with the people it affected. Like, I love it for that. Yeah, no regrets.

You mentioned how, when recently revisiting Vanilla Sky, that there were a few things you thought could’ve been done differently. When you rewatch your films, do you try not to think too much about that?

Oh yeah, definitely. We did this book on Billy Wilder and he was still recasting his movies, including like Sunset Boulevard into his 90s! [Laughs] That’s a part of the, “I would’ve changed that or that chord.” But, really, it is exactly what you meant to do at the time. It’s always a snapshot of where you were then. It’s like a diary. When you go back and read a diary you think, “Oh man, was I really feeling that?” It’s the same with going back and changing a classic album for remastering. You think, “No, don’t do that!” I wouldn’t really, but it is fun to play the parlor game.

We Bought a Zoo opens in theaters on December 23.

‘The Avengers’ Will Assemble in Three Dimensions

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Have you heard of this movie called The Avengers? Apparently it’s a team-up movie of a group of at least semi-known superheroes that is being directed by a guy named Joss Whedon, who may have already done some genre work in his past. There hasn’t been any news throughout the film’s production that Whedon and company were filming things with 3D cameras, so you probably haven’t been anticipating it getting a 3D release; but you would be wrong.

Today Disney announced that come May 4, 2012, The Avengers will be hitting theaters both in 2D and 3D versions. What does this mean as far as the nuts and bolts of the filmmaking goes? It means that once the movie is put together, it will have to go through the 3D post-conversion process, which is controversial. Perhaps most famously, Clash of the Titans came out sporting post-converted 3D, and audiences were heard to unanimously groan at how subtle and non-existent the 3D effects were. The issue with this is that shoddy post-produced 3D movies sport a ticket price that is just as jacked up as films that are shot natively in 3D, and perhaps deserve the extra few bucks.

Some indication has come out over the years that post-converting a film to 3D doesn’t necessarily mean that it has to look terrible. If enough time is taken to properly layer in the effect it can both be noticeable and beneficial to an immersive experience, like in the last Harry Potter movie, Deathly Hollows: Part 2; but personally I still haven’t seen one that looks nearly as good as a film shot natively in the format. Nor have I seen one that I would say is worth a higher ticket price than a normal 2D showing of the film.

So, I guess the question is, with returns on 3D ticket sales shrinking as the months go by, why do studios keep alienating their customers by putting out overpriced, disappointing experiences? Am I off base about this? Are any of you planning on paying extra for the 3D Avengers experience once it hits theaters, or will you save a couple bucks and watch the film as it was shot? [THR]

The New ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ Feature Might Be Close to Getting Staked

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Do you remember how there is somebody out there trying to put together a big screen re-boot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer that doesn’t involve the property’s creator Joss Whedon, or is that a memory that you’ve repressed? Well, it’s happening, at least on some level. Warner Bros. wants the property to live on, and to that goal they hired a screenwriter named Whit Anderson to write a script some time ago. Unfortunately for those hoping for more Buffy, that script was submitted to the studio over the summer and Hero Complex has sources saying that the studio didn’t like it at all.

Because of the disappointing words on page, the project has been sent back to square one and executives are looking for a new writer to take a crack at it. Someone Hero Complex describes as a “key player” in the production said of their progress so far, “If you’re going to bring it back, you have to do it right. Anderson came in with some great ideas and she had reinvented some of the lore and it was pretty cool but in the end there just wasn’t enough on the page.”

So I guess now that the proposed film has hit a stumbling block the question has to be raised, is this the beginning of the end for a new Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or is the next writer who gets hired going to be able to do something with the property that the studio finds acceptable?

Personally, I’m perfectly happy having Buffy as warm memories that I can occasionally revisit on DVD, and I don’t really need to see a property that already had seven seasons and a movie continue. And also, if this project really does need to exist, I’d kind of rather hear that the studio is talking to somebody who was heavily involved with the Whedon created series, if not Joss F’n Whedon himself. Is that too much to ask?

Disney Recruits Seth Rogen to Play on ‘The B Team’

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There’s a spy comedy in the works over at Disney called The B Team that’s starting to see some life. The film is reportedly about a James Bond-type secret agent who gets himself kidnapped, leaving his nerdy tech support and research team left with the responsibility of rescuing him. Hilarity will doubtless follow as the pudgy, dweeby types try to acclimate themselves to being out in the world doing stuff instead of sitting behind a computer screen, typing things and coloring missions with snarky commentary.

The new action regarding the film’s development is that Seth Rogen has been brought on as a producer, which means he’s likely also being looked at to star. This has been Rogen’s modus operandi of late. He’s had a producing hand in a lot of his recent films, including 50/50, The Green Hornet, and Pineapple Express. I guess he’s kind of like the Jay-Z of the comedy world.

Also, this role just seems like a really good fit for him. I think The Green Hornet proved to all of us that Rogen makes a much better snarky sidekick than he does a leading man, no matter how much he slims down or how famous he becomes. He’s always been funniest to me when he’s nervous, mumbly, and in over his head, and it sounds like The B Team will be ripe with opportunity for him to play that card. I guess this project is a clever way for the actor to play to his strengths, but still be top billed as the star. If this were six months ago I might follow this all up by just saying “winning” (no, I wouldn’t). [Variety]

Video: A Beautiful Tribute to Cinema 2011

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Submarine: Cinema 2011

Kees van Dijkhuizen has done it again. I’ve written up a few of his videos on the site in the past, mainly his tributes to directors with their own unique style. But not until now have I been able to share one of his wonderful end of the year film tributes, which he’s done for the past three years. Videos such as this gives me goosebumps. They serve as reminders of how good or bad a year in the film has been. This has been one of the great years, and this tribute confirms it for me.

There’s been a lot of these sorts of compilation videos floating around the web recently, but I think Dijkhuizen has delivered the best one, check it out after the break.

If there’s anything I loathe about this video, it’s the reminder of how tough it’s been writing up a top 10 list for this year.

Movie News After Dark: The Dark Knight Rises, Community Fan Art and More Stuff About Batman

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Bane and The Dark Knight

What is Movie News After Dark? This evening’s column, as evident in the above image and title, will be very Batman heavy. Because it’s impossible to live and work on the internet without running into a bunch of Bat-related stuff. So we might as well just get it out of the way. We’ll also mix in some Community. And Community/Batman crossover.

We begin tonight with one of two brand new photos from The Dark Knight Rises. This one features Bane, as played by Tom Hardy, staring down Batman, as played by Christian Bale. Guess what happens next…

The folks at Screenrant have published a fun list of 10 Badass Characters Neutered by Their Sequels, in which they recount all of the big time heroes who found their weakest moments in sequels. I’d bet that you can guess which masked man made the list.

Speaking of heroes, The Wall Street Journal has a great profile of composer John Williams, The Last Movie Maestro. One of the greats, indeed.

This stylish Dark Knight Rises poster, from artist Chaz Russo — aka Reckerhouse — absolutely blew me away. So much so that I pre-ordered a print for my office. Seriously, check it out and tell me you don’t want one:

The Dark Knight Rises by Reckerhouse

David Thier of The Atlantic has an interesting, if controversially titled piece about Community being pulled from NBC’s midseason lineup. In I’m Glad Community Got Shelved, he is hopeful for the future of the brilliant show.

Speaking of Community and Batman, I found this via DeviantArt. Six seasons and a movie must include a season in which Abed is Batman. Of course:

Abed is Batman

/Film’s Peter Sciretta is a master of digging up Easter Eggs. He and Reddit have done a killer job of uncovering hidden gems in The Dark Knight Rises trailer. Including one that might be a little spoilery, but is fun to think about, all the same.

John August has published an article and podcast episode about What Producers Do. It is an interesting example of who really runs the show when your soon to be favorite movies are being made.

At Badass Digest, Devin Faraci writes a New Cinematic Law – Only Geniuses Can Use 3D. Of all the crackpot notions Devin has spewed over the years, this is the one I can most easily get behind. Like any dangerous new format, tool or trick, only those who can handle it should use it.

I was informed last night that Bored to Death, a show I quite like, was cancelled by HBO. Today, Bored to Death creator Jonathan Ames comments on the cancellation.

David Fincher talks to Movies.com about the Cold, Dark, Perverse world of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. It’s a solid interview.

In closing, I present two more pieces of Batman media. The first is The Dark Knight Rises trailer sweded by some resilient folks in an apartment. The second is an infographic from the folks at Screenrant featuring The History of the Bat-Suit.

Every Batman bat-suit


Short Film Of The Day: Rare Exports Inc.

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Why Watch? How else do you think they get the Santa to your local mall?

For fans of Rare Exports, this is a special short film treat. For those who haven’t yet fallen in love with the Finnish flick from Jalmari Helander about the accidental awakening of an ancient demon named Santa Claus, here’s a great introduction. Fair warning though, there’s some old man penis involved.

Plus, it’s a beautifully shot commercial for a company based in the land of the original Father Christmas. Order yours today, and have a hell of a holiday.

What does it cost? Just 7 minutes of your time.

Trust us. You have time for more short films.

Review: Overly Idealized ‘War Horse’ Hits With Heavy, Uninspired Hand

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War Horse is a sprawling war epic that’s so old-fashioned it belongs in a museum. Not only has director Steven Spielberg painstakingly recreated the look and feel of a classical picture of this scope, imbued with a heavy dose of mid-century British formalism, he’s essentially made a carbon copy of a David Lean movie.

Such a nostalgic enterprise would be welcome if it told a story worth telling, with the strong, determined characters and bold cinematic brushstrokes of a Lean picture. Spielberg’s film does nothing of the sort — it’s a stodgy, ridiculous movie with a horse that simultaneously serves as an allegory for the bond that unites all mankind and a symbol of profound, idealized purity.

The picture follows Joey the horse as he passes from owner to owner, experiencing World War I along the way. He’s bought by poor British farmer Ted Narracott (Peter Mullan), just before the Great War, and trained by Ted’s son Albert (Jeremy Irvine), who’s a clean-scrubbed bundle of boundless idealism.

Once combat begins, Joey is shipped across the English Channel, where he finds his way onto both sides of the conflict. Various soldiers take possession of the horse; he participates in an ill-fated charge, aides in an escape from duty, and performs other traumatic tasks. The horse’s only brief respite comes when he takes up residence with French teen Emilie (Celine Buckens) and her kindly grandfather (Niels Arestrup).

War Horse has been adapted by Lee Hall and Richard Curtis from the Tony-winning play by Nick Stafford and the children’s book that inspired it, written by Michael Morpurgo. Despite the widespread acclaim for the material, it’s hard to get past the fundamentally flawed fact that the audience is meant to feel a strong emotional attachment to a horse. That would work if this were something like Black Beauty, with its equestrian protagonist, but War Horse assumes we’re predisposed to care about Joey because he’s a majestic creature, I guess, and he’s had such a transformative effect on so many one-dimensional characters.

Those characters couldn’t be a less stimulating bunch. They’re a depressing allotment of dull personalities that speak in an aggressively mannered style. They’re artificial archetypes — the determined farmer, the good-hearted soldier — produced with an eye for overwrought stagy dramatics. To be fair, the screenplay doesn’t allot any of them enough time to reveal any extra dimensions, as it’s quickly on to the next owner.

At the same time, the treatment of World War I is so manufactured and tame that it can’t be taken seriously. Of course Spielberg isn’t aiming for a grungy, realistic portrait of trench warfare. The Great War’s version of Saving Private Ryan this is not. But the movie offers such a refined, tasteful portrait of a gruesome experience that it almost makes it seem like a sort of grand noble adventure.

Spielberg never lets you forget that this is a movie about a horse bestowed with the magical ability to bring out the best in the people surrounding him. There are many noble qualities imbued in Joey, none more ridiculous than his remarkable ability to sap the tensions from war. The filmmaker embarks on a full-on assault on your tear ducts that culminates when Joey is stuck in no man’s land, and “silly” human conflicts are put aside for the equestrian Jesus.

Veteran cinematographer Janusz Kaminski’s widescreen work is predictably impressive. Soldiers mount horses in a sweeping, golden wheat field and low angles impart the massive scale of the conflict. The images have a subdued gritty quality throughout some of the combat scenes. At the same time, the movie too often opts for a pristine, painterly approach, with the characters framed just-so against the sprawling countryside, as John Williams’ score predictably rises and settles and Spielberg hammers away at the audience.

The grandiose touches fail to disguise the movie’s pedestrian qualities, particularly the deadening predictability with which it imparts its dated vision. At times War Horse is too precious in its family audience pandering — for example, it could easily have lost the frequent cutaways to a honking goose waddling around the frame. At other times it’s so impossibly broad and wooden that its heart is submerged beneath the over-calculated exterior.

No matter what direction things go, though, it’s consistently clear that Spielberg was the wrong director for this material. And that might be what’s most notable about the whole thing.

The Upside: The widescreen cinematography is evocative, there’s a strong supporting cast and the occasional nice, tasteful, old-fashioned touch.

The Downside: The movie is impossibly dated and often laughably ridiculous, imbuing a horse with an impossible array of saintly qualities.

On the Side: If you saw War Horse on stage, we’d love to hear what you thought. It had to be better, right? Right?

Grade: C-

But What If ‘New Year’s Eve’ Was Just About Russians and Made By Timur Bekmambetov?

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Talk about the question on everyone’s mind this holiday season! Deadline Kaluga reports that Russian filmmaker Timur Bekmambetov will answer that very question – sort of, in a way, considering he’s already answered it twice already. Bekmambetov is now set to team up with Chinese filmmaker Eva Jin to launch a Russian and Chinese remake of Russia’s own wildly popular anthology film, Yolki. Bekmambetov previously directed his own segments in both Yolki (also know as the more appropriate Six Degrees of Separation) and its very successful sequel, Yolki 2. Yolki 2 was recently a big winner in its native Russia, pulling in a stunning $7.8m gross over its opening weekend. The original Yolki was “Russia’s most successful local movie in the past three years.”

The first film “tells the stories of eight different Russians – from eight different time zones – and how their destinies intersect one New Years Eve.” The new version will “be framed around the Chinese New Year. There will be eight stories connected by a young orphan girl who must deliver a message to the President and whose only hope is to use the theory of ‘six degrees of separation’ – that all people on Earth, from the lowliest migrant worker to government leaders, are connected by six handshakes.” Gross. But also somewhat sweet.

Bekmambetov and Jin are each set to direct one of the different vignettes of the film. Of course, the major question is not who will write or direct the other sections of the film, but if it will be at all possible for Bekmambetov and company to cast known talent that has not already starred in either Valentine’s Day or New Year’s Eve? A true feat for any director.

An anthology production such as this brings to mind films like Paris, I Love You or New York, I Love You much more than either Valentine’s Day or New Year’s Eve, which can only be a good thing. With projects like Garry Marshall’s dismal holidays-on-crack films, typically even the most standoffish audiences will find one or two storylines to follow and enjoy, but with an omnibus film, viewers can find both plots and individuals directors that appeal to their individual tastes. Something to celebrate, surely.

The film is aiming for a 2013 release.

40 Things We Learned From the ‘Elf’ Commentary

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Elf

Who knows Santa? I mean personally? I bet you don’t. I don’t either, but we’re talking about you right now. Buddy the Elf knows Santa. He makes sure to tell everyone he sees when he ventures to New York City to meet his real father. Another question. Who doesn’t like Elf? You can walk away now if you said, “I don’t”, because this Commentary Commentary is not for you.

The Christmas season is upon us, and we felt it was time to hear what director Jon Favreau had to say about this ginormous Christmas gem. There are two commentary tracks on Elf – thanks, Infinifilm – but we’re rolling the dice on Favreau over the film’s star. As a wise man once said to me over Twitter, “Glean his insights so we don’t have to listen; let us hear the entertaining actor ourselves. So sit back with your eggnog or your mini candy cane or your Christmas fudge – I’m rocking all three as I write this, the first indication I should get myself to a dentist pronto – and delve into all the glorious bits of information we gathered while listening to the Elf commentary track. Oh, eggnog. No one understands me like you.

Elf (2003)

Commentators: Jon Favreau (director), lots of talk about Middle Earth

  • The tree on fire in the early moments of the film was done using forced perspective. The top half of the tree is a miniature in the foreground. The bottom is roughly 40 feet away from the camera. The edges were then blended to make it appear as if it’s all one tree. Favreau felt it important to us the “old techniques” rather than CGI. felt these techniques gave the film a feeling of nostalgia, like the old Christmas TV programs the director grew up on. One of the films he compares the technique to is Lord of the Rings, which, like Elf, is a New Line Film, so touche, Mr. Favreau.
  • “The only element in here that is CG are the snowflakes blowing by, and I still think they kind of stick out a little bit.” – Favreau discussing the opening credits. Right. A little bit. It’s like Christmastime in Tron, but I’m not complaining. I love Daft Punk.
  • All the stop motion animated characters in the opening credits use Favreau’s voice. He also provided the voice for the rabid raccoon Buddy runs into in Canada. Clearly the voice had effects added to make the characters sound higher. Either that or they used helium. Lots and lots of helium.
  • Baby Buddy in the orphanage scene was played by triplet girls. The director credits their performance to editor Dan Lebental, who was able to make it appear they were doing everything Baby Buddy is seen doing. Favreau notes they had twin boys for the part, and the boys looked just like Will Ferrell with curly blonde hair. However, they wouldn’t stop crying and were promptly ejected from the premises, probably out into a cold Vancouver night.
  • Favreau mentions bringing up the forced perspective technique again. Many of the sets were built twice, once much larger for the actors playing elves and once slightly smaller for the normal sized actors. In the scene where Ed Asner as Santa addresses his elves, he is standing on a platform on a smaller version of the set. The elves were standing on another platform far behind him. Lighting was used to blend the two images together. You know, kind of like that tree. I think we get the idea of forced perspective. If you’re wondering, “How did they do that?” while watching Elf, the answer is probably forced perspective. Kid’s legs in the front. Bob Newhart in the background. Got it?
  • Here is when Favreau begins pointing out where the seams are in the shot to achieve forced perspective. When Buddy is sitting in the classroom, it’s down where the bag is laying on the ground next to him. When Buddy enters the sleigh room, it’s next to the light switch.
  • Peter Billingsley has an unbilled cameo as an elf when Buddy is working on the toy line. Thankfully, he still has both of his eyes and has moved on from the Dirt Bike Kid stench that traveled close behind him for 15 years. It’s like Pig-Pen, that stench.
  • In an early draft of the script, the other elves made fun of Buddy for being different and unable to work as fast as they could. Favreau felt it better to keep the characters good-spirited and optimistic even though he’s different from them. “It explained why Buddy was doing all these good things in New York if he grew up in a world where everybody was so sweet even when he’s obviously screwing everything up and doesn’t fit in at all.”
  • For the jack in the box gag, it was written in the script that he was just testing them. Favreau had a remote control to trigger the last one Buddy tests, and the director waited a split second longer than he would have normally before setting it off in order to get the appropriate reaction from Ferrell. Likewise, Favreau felt that, as the director, it was his job to put Ferrell in various situations and see how the actor would react. Favreau notes the more awkward the situation the funnier Ferrell made it.
  • The stop motion characters were done using two-frame stop motion. Every time the puppet would be moved, the character would be shot twice giving it a choppy movement and the feeling of how they looked in the old TV shows. Favreau mentions all the stop motion was done by the Chiodo brother, three brothers who still do stop motion animation. He also notes all of these characters would have been done with CGI today.
  • There was evidently an elf hockey game that was shot and lost before the film was completed. Favreau felt the momentum had to be sustained, but, seriously, who doesn’t want to see a hockey fight between two elves? Elf blood! Elf blood! Throw the miniature squid!
  • “And there’s a freezing stunt man,” says Favreau in the overhead shot of Buddy traveling across the snow. Luckily, Farrell was in his warm trailer sipping a cup of hot cocoa. I’m just spit-balling on that one, but where would you be if your double was out freezing his toes off in the wilderness?
  • Favreau included a lot of New York based locations in the script, locations like the Empire State Building he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get at the time. However, his locations manager was able to secure them. All off the exteriors were shot in NYC, something Favreau takes great pride in.
  • The gum Will chews off the fence was not actual gum they found. It was planted there by the production. Not everyone in the immediate area was aware of this. Likewise, there is no elevator in the Empire State Building that has buttons to all the floors. This was fabricated for the film. Before making Elf, Favreau would observe his 1-year-old son, Max, to get ideas for what Buddy might do. As Favreau notes, Max was his barometer for how believable Buddy’s antics were. Favreau also mentions when he feels Buddy knows he’s doing bad or believes he’s doing good, which makes a fun, little game throughout the film.
  • For the role of Buddy’s dad, Favreau wanted an actor who could play the comedic side up but who was also much more grounded than Will Farrell’s Buddy. This was the director’s approach to casting many of the secondary characters in Elf. Favreau feels including actors like James Caan in the film helped Ferrell’s performance both in terms of comedy and as an actor.
  • When Farrell yells, “SANTAAAAA!” I believe Favreau cracks up quite a bit. I’m not sure, though, because I couldn’t hear him over my own laughter. That’s just a little insight into what makes Jeremy Kirk LOL.
  • Favreau notes much of the music in Elf was added only after hearing Zooey Deschanel’s singing voice. The director likes how quirky but dry she is in her performance, something else that Will Farrell was able to bounce off of for his performance.
  • Some of the sets for Elf, Walter’s apartment, Gimbals’ toy department, and the jail cell among them, were built in an abandoned mental hospital in Vancouver, the same hospital where New Line shot Freddy Vs. Jason. And now I’m never watching that Christmas special the same way again.
  • “When you walk through a room full of elephants, it’s funnier if you act like you’re not really noticing the elephants.” – Favreau quoting James Caan about his comedic timing. Favreau also notes Caan wanted to play the part more like George Burns than Sonny Corleone. In the scene in the jail, the actor held back on his chastising of Buddy. The director also notes Farrell made Caan crack up several times on set. If you pay attention in the scene in the hospital, when Buddy’s finger is pricked, Caan cracked up and turns his back to the camera. It was Greg Gardiner’s idea to have Buddy scream, but Caan didn’t know that was going to happen.
  • Favreau mentions Farrell’s line about the fake Santa sitting on a “throne of lies” is from Lord of the Rings. Okay, Jon, we get it. You love New Line. Now I’m imagining he has a checklist while he watches this of all the movies New Line put out in the past 15 years. He’s gonna be mentioning all of them, too. The Notebook can’t be too far off, right?
  • Favreau, when he wasn’t making up a list of all of New Line’s films, drew the “To dad” card Buddy gives to his father.
  • The director notes he went on the Atkins diet and lost around 40 lbs after filming his scene as the doctor in Elf. He said at the time that he “looked like a tall ship with a big sail” in his white coat. Because of this, Farrell gave Favreau a tall ship in a bottle as a wrap present.
  • The idea of Buddy putting maple syrup on his spaghetti came late in the screenwriting stage. Favreau tried to think of all the unhealthy stuff elves might eat. Fortunately, elves have an incredibly high metabolism. Just look at Legolas. Dude is fit. It should be noted that is my Lord of the Rings reference, not Favreau’s. I’m working off my own list now, and I love The Notebook.
  • The exterior shot of Caan taking Buddy’s phone call was the first shot for James Caan. Favreau notes how lucky they were to get the actor but admits they didn’t know what they were going to be getting hiring an actor of his caliber. There were concerns that he would be cracking up far more than he actually did, but the way Caan underplays every scene works perfectly against Farrell’s child-like attitude.
  • Many of the snowballs in the snowballs fight scene were CG. Favreau likens the scene to something out of The Magnificent Seven and even points out John Debney’s score gives the scene an old Western vibe. Favreau also mentions anyone who grew up on the East coast knows how brutal snowball fights can be. Yeah, I know. I saw Where the Wild Things Are, too.
  • Favreau also likens Elf to Big, a film about a kid who is forced to grow up too quickly and learn his way around the big city. The director likes the comedy Farrell brings to the film. “But if you don’t have a good story and an emotional aspect to the story people grow weary of just one comic bit after the next. I think they want to see a story that engages them on an emotional level.” Favreau brings up the bonding moments between Buddy and Walter like when Walter tells his son he doesn’t have to drink the coffee. He also mentions the different ways Buddy changes throughout the film, how he learns from the city and the people in it. Buddy reading Pigmalion is kind of a reference to that.
  • Along the lines of Walter and Buddy bonding, the scene in Walter’s office was originally cut from the film. The studio kept wanting it shorter and shorter until it was finally trimmed altogether. It was executive producer Kent Alterman’s idea to put the scene back in to show the importance of Walter and Buddy getting to know one another.
  • The mail room was a set piece that was added late in production and was the last scene shot before production wrapped. It had bounced in and out of the film throughout Elf‘s production, but Favreau decided they needed one more set piece.
  • Mark Acheson, who plays the guy Buddy is talking to and laying down with in the mail room, had auditioned for the role of a trucker. That part was cut from the film, but, because of his audition tape, Favreau cast him in this role in the mail room. Favreau got notes from the studio pointing out that Acheson was clearly not 26. Favreau responded that, yes, this was clearly why it was funny that he says he’s 26 in the movie. Probably not the most ridiculous studio note ever, but it’s gotta be up there.
  • Favreau mentions he first knew of Peter Dinklage from Living in Oblivion and that the actor was in The Station Agent at Sundance while Elf was filming in January of 2003. Likewise, Zooey Deschanel was in All the Real Girls, Mary Steenburgen was in Casa de los babys at the time, and James Caan had just finished shooting Dogville with Lars von Trier. “If you just look at the cast of this movie, it doesn’t really say ‘Broad Christmas Comedy’ but they certainly were funny.”
  • To shoot the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center, production had to wait until after midnight and only then got four hours to get the scene, because a professional skater was performing the next day. On the other side of things, the premier party for Elf was held there. They got to hang out a lot longer than that then. Reports that Caan tried to take the professional skater’s knees out with a crowbar are grossly exaggerated.
  • A little timeline house cleaning here: According to Favreau, David Berenbaum wrote Elf as a spec script, meaning no one paid him to write it before doing so. Will Farrell became attached to the project while still at “Saturday Night Live”. Years later, the script was sent to Favreau who rewrote certain elements of the film. Production on the film began before Old School came out making Farrell a huge commodity. Favreau recognizes the chance the studio took on green lighting Elf and notes how well New Line promoted Farrell and Elf after Old School came out in February of 2003. It’s rare for a film maker to delve into how well their film does financially on these commentary tracks, so it should be noted Favreau brings up Elf‘s success. It debuted 2nd behind The Matrix Revolutions but came in 1st place its second weekend out. It was going up against The Matrix Revolutions in its second weekend, so, really, it wasn’t that fair. I’m getting into Reject Report territory here, so back to the commentary.
  • Favreau mentions it looks fake when you use too much CGI. Still, the reindeer were clearly computer generated as they’re flying through the sky. The real reindeer Buddy runs into in Central Park were scared by Farrell.
  • “And so he has his mission for act 3.” Favreau brings up that, like so many Christmas stories, Elf is about an outcast who becomes necessary. It’s like Rudolph or Frosty. Maybe not so much Frosty. I mean, he had a corncob pipe, but that’s not really all that necessary when you think about it. Button nose maybe, but not a corncob pipe.
  • Originally the news reports near the end of the film were going to be on a much larger scale. Favreau mentions it was going to be a CNN report and there were supposed to be a dozen cop cars surrounding Central Park. Also the cops were supposed to be chasing Buddy down Fifth Avenue, shooting at him as he shot back at them. He also jumps off the Empire State Building and onto a helicopter in Berenbaum’s original script. Favreau felt the “slice of life” news story played better into the reality of the situation. He says helicopters circling and cop cars swarming would have looked too much like The Blues Brothers.
  • Favreau likes the idea that Elf might be watched year after year by people who have already seen it once before. He wanted to include several Easter Eggs throughout the film for people to pick up on in subsequent viewings. The shot of Buddy trampling through Central Park like Bigfoot is one of these moments.
  • 1:19:25 – Favreau brings up Lord of the Rings again. Favreau – 3. Commentary Commentary – 1. When he first read the script, it plays up that the cops are chasing Buddy near the end of the film. Favreau didn’t like this idea, so the Central Park Rangers, who Favreau compares to Ring Wraiths, were invented to replace New York City cops. The costumes were designed to reference Lord of the Rings, and the Rangers were always shot in silhouette to hide their real appearance.
  • The shot of Mary Steenburgen singing along with Zooey Deschanel was a reshoot. It had originally been shot with Steenburgen too gleeful for the moment. Favreau felt it would work better as a dramatic moment, so it was done over between other scenes were being shot.
  • James Caan really is playing the piano in the film’s final moments. He was messing around on the piano between shots, and Favreau decided they needed to keep it as part of the scene. As the director indicates, Auld Lang Syne is a song in the public domain, so the New Line legal team can rest easy tonight. It’s not like we’re talking about Jingle All the Way, am I right?
  • The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.

Best in Commentary

“It’s sort of romantic, but it’s sort of weird, too.” – Favreau on the shower/duet scene between Deschanel and Farrell.

“Christmas movies are about spirit winning out over cynicism.”

“Burps are funny.” Truer words have never been spoken.

Final Thoughts

Much of Jon Favreau’s Elf commentary falls into the “See that? I’m going to describe what’s going on” attitude so many commentators take. That’s not always a bad thing, especially when it plays over a film as entertaining as watchable as Elf is. Favreau still finds time in there to bring up stories from the set, techniques used in the effects-heavy film, and the approach actors like Farrell and Deschanel took to bring their characters to life. It’s still an entertaining and insightful commentary, probably not quite as entertaining as what Farrell delivers in his but definitely more focused. Farrell probably wouldn’t have mentioned Freddy Vs. Jason, but that’s just conjecture on my part.

Check out more Commentary Commentary

Movie News After Dark: Battlestar Animated, Avengers Overload, Steve Spielberg and Siri: The Horror Movie

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Battlestar Galactica Animated

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly movie news column desperate in its search for the insanely cool links of the day. It will also take movie related news, things about Community and Doctor Who, as well as, on occasion, updates on The Dark Knight Rises. Although after last night’s entry, it’s not sure there is any TDKR news left to report.

We begin tonight with some incredibly cool animated work from an artist named Otis Frampton. On his Deviant Art page, found via Popped Culture, he envisions what a Battlestar Galactica animated series would look like. I would watch this show, and not just because I’m a die hard BSG fan, either.

The Smoking Jacket presents us with Stuff You Should Know: Zombies, an article about zombies and all the things they do. In the beginning, it was all about voodoo, if you can believe such a thing.

Over at Screenrant, it’s being pondered whether Marvel Studios will go cosmic post-Avengers. In that they will make a leap to a Guardians of the Galaxy franchise and perhaps, just maybe, make a run at that Edgar Wright/Joe Cornish Ant-Man movie, one of which is quite cosmic, the other is a nerd wet dream.

Speaking of Avengers and their impending avenging, Marvel has released eight new character posters, including one that features the following bad motherfucker:

Nick Fury The Avenger

Oh look, The Avengers will also be in 3D.

If you’re one of the folks who went out to support Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked these past few weekends, please slow down, you may be reading too fast. We wouldn’t want you to get a headache. For everyone else, zip on over to Film.com where Eric D. Snider presents The Next 35 Alvin and the Chipmunks Movie Sequel Titles. Including, but not limited to, Alvin and the Chipmunks Learn the True Meaning of Hannukah, which I’m told is in active development.

At Esquire, Tom Junod takes a brief look back at the career of Steven Spielberg. Apparently that guy has directed a bunch of movies you liked.

Scott Meslow at The Atlantic presents us with 17 Films to Look Forward to in 2012. Yeah, he’s made some obvious choices. And this list will pale in comparison to our own 2012 preview (which will include far more than 52 obvious choices). But it’s worth talking about now: what’s your most anticipated of 2012, dear reader?

Someone at Moviehole convinced a drunk intern at Paramount to tell them something juicy, so said intern told them news that seems almost too obvious: a Mission: Impossible 5 and Top Gun 2 are in the works. Note to everyone: A sequel, prequel and reboot of everything that has ever been successful are most definitely in the works. On that, you can always rely. Death. Taxes. Reboots.

We close tonight with a tinge of holiday themery. And it somehow relates to that iPhone you may or may not be getting under your Christmas tree. It’s a Rooster Teeth created short called Siri: The Holiday Horror Movie:

A Very Junkfood Christmas: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

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Junkfood CinemaWelcome back to Junkfood Cinema; our reindeer games are Reindeer Games. Twas the night before Christmas, and here at JFC, we’re administering cinematic pain with despicable glee. These holiday movies are awful, fraught with despair. And at first we treat them with an appropriate lack of care. But then we reverse, like our heads we did wound, seeing to it that with love these turds are festooned. To top it all off, ‘ere we roll out of sight, we pair the film with a snack to make your Crisco-mas bright.

And now we present, before this stops being funny, a disaster called Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.

What Makes It Bad?

To properly lampoon Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, I must resort to tactic heretofore unseen in this column. (Humor?) Shut up, self! For the next few sentences, I will not make a single joke. I need this abdication of puns, quips, and gags to be absolutely clear so that the absurdity of this film’s actual plot strikes you upside the head like a lead candy cane. I will caution you to move any breakable objects out from directly beneath you as they are now in the jaw drop zone. Okay, here goes…no jokes…whew…no jokes…here goes…

Santa’s sleigh drops out of the sky and lands smack dab in the middle of a sandy beach in Florida. Good so far? Oh, just wait. No jokes. His reindeer have run off and he is sweltering in the hot Floridian sun. He sends out a thunderous call to all the children in the area, calling all of them by name except for two girls whom he just calls, “girls.”  The children come running to his aid, passing Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn on a raft as they do. No jokes…head starting to hurt. They trod out a menagerie of animals to serve as potential replacements for the wayward reindeer (including a cow, a sheep, and a dog) to no avail. In an effort to raise the spirits of the children, who he’s already disheartened by telling them they won’t be getting any gifts that year, Santa tells the children the story of…Thumbelina. Actually, he tells them the story of a little girl who goes to a theme park and who is told the story of Thumbelina by a loudspeaker as she watches the tale unfold in a magical diorama at the Thumbelina exhibit. Yeah, ok, so that happens. Then, when the story is completed, the children hear a siren and, lo and behold, here comes…The Ice Cream Bunny…driving a fire engine…to save the day? No jokes, just a twitch that I’m fairly certain is the early stages of a stroke.

Yes, that is the plot of this lost, rightly, 70s holiday non-classic. The elements of this film are like massive tectonic plates of crazy floating on batshit magma on the gonzo crust of this mad mad mad world. As you would expect, Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny was not produced by a major studio. In fact, the film was produced by a failing theme park in Florida. That’s right, the not-at-all-famous-to-anyone Pirate’s World, the very same park that provided the setting for what has to be one of the most uncomfortable retellings of Thumbelina ever conceived by supposed human beings. But yes, Pirate’s World. It’s not a world for “Pirates” in general nor is it a world belonging to all “Pirates’.” Instead it is apparently a park owned by one random individual pirate. So as you walk shuffle monotonously from the rusted Ferris Wheel to the Tilt-a-Whirl that neither tilts nor whirls, you could at any point be tossed out of the park by its rightful owner: Long John Silver or Blackbeard or…Roberto Clemente.

Therein lies the problem with Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, apart from the producers’ dreadful mistake of actually producing it. If the issue were simply a disharmonious combination of very different elements, that would be one thing; a shit stew of sorts. But instead what we have is more akin to a shit salad, with all the individual ingredients proving just as rotten individually as they are together. It’s like a garbage sculpture of a pile of garbage. Let’s break this down like an improper fraction…

The pairing of Santa Claus and Thumbelina is as appropriate as the pairing of fried chicken and nail guns. So right off the bat, Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny has an uphill battle to sell this distinctly non-Christmasy concept. But the manner in which the film includes Thumbelina’s tragic, and oddly misogynistic, tale is downright baffling. Santa is telling the kids the story of a girl being told the story of Thumbelina as she watches the story unfold, a story that she is also a part of, as the loudspeaker narrator changes from someone outside the story to a character within the story. So Santa is basically trying to relay…to children…a story with more levels than a Mega Man NES game designed by Christopher Nolan; now facing Inception Man! But get past all that, I know you won’t, and what you have is the story of a woman who learns that she can only be happy with “her own kind” and only then if she is married to a man and serving his every whim. Gee, great choice for story time, Santa. This movie makes me want to burn the bra I promise I don’t wear.

Only slightly less inexplicable in its moronitude is the pairing of Santa with…The Ice Cream Bunny. If you recall your Mother Goose, Aesop fables, Grimm’s fairy tales, Disney flicks, 80s children’s television, and fast food spokespersons, you’ll be keenly aware that this character DOESN’T EXIST ANYWHERE! The reason for his absence from any preexisting material is most likely his total and willfully insulting lack of definition. Why the hell is he called the Ice Cream Bunny? He isn’t made of ice cream, he doesn’t eat ice cream, and he doesn’t distribute ice cream either by hand or from any orifice. In fact, this flop job doesn’t even mention the words “ice cream” once in his very limited screen time. Is he called the Ice Cream Bunny because he is white and some ice cream is also white? That seems pretty flimsy. If that’s the case, why isn’t Santa called The Bloated Tick Man? So the Ice Cream Bunny shows up driving a woefully out-of-date fire engine, not that driving a fancy modern fire engine would have fallen within the realm of reason, just in time to save Santa. Was this Pirate’s World’s mascot or something, I guess I could understand if that were the–hey wait, neither ice cream nor bunnies have anything to do with pirates either! Damn you, Roberto Clemente!

So the whole time these kids are trying to save Santa’s bacon, ironically proposing a pig as the beast of burden at one point, all the old fat guy does is sit in his sleigh and complain about the heat. Funny thing about sitting directly in the blistering sunlight, it tends to get a little warm. But it never dawns on pathetic old St. Nicolas to get his chubby posterior up out of the sleigh and, I don’t know, seek shelter perhaps? I get that you’re from the North Pole, Santa, but you do know how the sun works, yes? You don’t actually believe that it is a sentient being that will follow you wherever you go as if you’ve made it to World 2 in Super Mario Brothers 3, right? The hapless putz doesn’t even think to take off his enormous winter coat until about thirty minutes into the film. I hate to say it, but perhaps this is an unfortunately festive example of natural selection; deck the halls with Darwinism. Am I being too cruel to Santa? At the risk of receiving nothing but coal this year, hell to the no! Because after we go through all this grief to get Santa’s sleigh out of the…shallow sand, listening to his entirely-too-complicated rendition of Thumbelina and calling in pallid, lactophiliac mascots for help, the sleigh disappears! So Santa drives off with the Ice Cream Bunny as the children, who have worked themselves half to death trying to get the sleigh unstuck, wave goodbye, we find out the goddamn sleigh could have teleported out at any time? I’m gonna say it, Santa’s kind of a dick.

And let us not forget about Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn…as clearly the screenwriter did. They show up for a moment at the beginning and then again at the end, having not moved from the bushes on the bank of what they claim is the Mississippi River. I’m going to go ahead and ignore the fact that no other representatives of the literary world traverse the boundaries of time, space, and being inescapably fictional to help Santa in his time of need. I have to ignore it because otherwise my head fold in on itself fifty times like Cronenberg origami. Instead I want to note the fact that the Mississippi River is 100 miles from the nearest Florida beach, so these corny bumpkins are out and out wrong. But I suppose if you carelessly play leap frog with planes of existence, the laws of simple geography need not apply to you.

Why I Love It!

Quite simply, and because at this point I have lost the ability to conjure words of any greater significance, Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny exists. That in and of itself is a monumental achievement for both Pirate’s World and the entire human race. It is like an experiment in self-imposed obscurity. It’s clear that not a single person who worked on this film, or had the dubious distinction of “starring” in it, believed it would ever see the light of day outside the hallowed walls of that “amusement” park, which subsequently-and without the slightest hint of shock–closed three years after the release of this film. To their credit, and perhaps in calculated defense of their collective pride, for years the film failed to graduate beyond one sorry VHS release.

However, the film’s reputation for extraordinary levels of nonsense caught the attention of the gents over at Rifftrax. The former quip-slingers, the b-movie Gielguds, of Mystery Science Theater 3000 have since made available for sale their irreverent musings on all manner of new films as well as “classic” “cinema” fare that was sadly overlooked during the series’ run. The siren call of Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny‘s beautiful abomination was too much for them to ignore and they have released a side-splitting Rifftrax commentary for the film. Also provided on the DVD is the film itself so, against all odds and in clear defiance of legislation against the purveyance of black magic, Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny is available on DVD.

Making it through the entirety of this film’s runtime is the pinnacle of cinematic endurance tests. You will be tempted, in the moments when the air is wholesale let out of the already vacuous plot, that you will not only want to turn it off, you’ll also be tempted to pray to whatever most convenient god can promise immediate snowfall so that you have the ability to experience the far more rapid release of hypothermia. If nothing else, Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny makes you appreciate even the heretofore perceived lamest of holiday films.

Junkfood Pairing: Blue Bunny Ice Cream

As you watch this confounding combination of Santa, bunnies, and ice cream, try to cool the hot, feverish flashes of frustrated rage with this frigid, delicious, and far more practical pairing of rabbits and frozen freezer treats. Happy Holidays from all of me here at Junkfood Cinema!

Channel Guide: A Dexter Season 6 Postmortem

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Channel Guide: A Column About TVI mooch Showtime off of family, friends, and strangers so it wasn’t until earlier this week that I was able to finagle my way into someone’s home to watch the Dexter finale. This is less of a personal confession and more of a warning. Yes, I will be breaking in to your house this Christmas/Hanukkah to jack cable TV from you but more importantly, if you don’t always watch Dexter finales when they originally air and still haven’t seen the shocking yet, in many ways, inevitable conclusion to season 6, then I suggest that you stop reading this right now. Though, before we address those last couple of minutes, let’s look at the season as a whole, which was the most ambitious, heavy-handed, and ultimately weirdest to date.

This year, the Dexter writing staff chucked subtlety out of the window and decided instead to pound us all over the head with their theme: religion. Baby Harrison begins attending a Catholic preschool, prompting Dexter to compare “The Code” to the precepts of Christianity. Meanwhile, criminal turned minister Brother Sam (Mos Def) befriends Dexter, introducing a light into his life that temporarily neutralizes his “Dark Passenger.” And then, of course, there’s this season’s main baddie(s), the Doomsday Killer(s)—whose deceased victims are placed into elaborate tableaus that allude to passages from the Book of Revelation. At some point Dexter, who believes that he’s justified in killing killers, was probably going to have to contemplate religion but the way that Christianity was interwoven throughout this season just felt oppressive and contrived—how fortuitous it was that Harrison should be enrolled in Catholic school right when the DDK murders start.

But maybe I’m just being nitpicky. The theme was definitely overwrought, but perhaps can be forgiven because without it, we may have never known how truly creepy Colin Hanks is. In a Shyamalanian twist, we learn that the DDK murders are being carried out by Travis Marshall (Hanks) alone. Marshall’s mentor, Professor Gellar (Edward James Olmos), who we are initially led to believe is pushing Marshall to kill against his will, was dead the whole time—Gellar, like Dexter’s dad Harry, was only a subconscious projection. This role gave Hanks the opportunity to showcase his talents, I think, for the first time. Hanks begins the season timid and ends it with the kind of loony self-assuredness of a true sociopath. His transformation is so seamless that from here on out, he will no longer be known simply as Tom Hanks’ son. He’ll be Tom Hanks’ son who played that crazy guy on that season of Dexter where Deb fell in love with her brother.

Oh yeah, Deb is in love with her brother. Ugh. Yes, I understand that Dexter is adopted, so they aren’t related by blood, but still, ugh. I don’t want to get into all of the minutiae of incest—what constitutes incest, what doesn’t—but Deb’s romantic feelings for her brother are disturbing. At the same time, this development is far more shocking and compelling than the final minute of the season where Deb witnesses Dexter killing Marshall because that was always going to happen—the series has been pointing toward that moment since it began. Yeah, I gasped while watching Deb watch Dexter but who really believes that she’s going to turn in her brother? I can’t say that I’m a fan of the direction that Deb’s character has taken but I more interested to find out how her feelings for Dexter are going to play out next year than I am to see how she deals with learning that he’s a killer—though, I suppose the two things will develop concurrently.

In general, this season wasn’t horrible—Dexter dancing at his high school reunion was pretty great and Marshall’s “I see dead people” moment genuinely caught me off guard—but it wasn’t the best. My biggest gripe was that the writers tried to cover too much territory—there were callbacks to seasons 1 and 4, all the DDK and Brother Sam stuff, Quinn was spiraling out of control, interns were stealing prosthetic limbs, Deb was having wet dreams about her brother. Even though season 5 didn’t end with some exciting cliffhanger, I appreciate how focused it was in comparison to this season.

 Stray Thoughts

  • Did you notice how quickly Hanks’ character painted that extremely detailed mural? You know the one with Dexter’s perfectly rendered face right in the center of it?
  • I’ve never really cared for LaGuerta but I didn’t think that she was evil until this season.
  • I still don’t understand what was up with Louis, Masuka’s second intern. I can appreciate the mystery surrounding him and what he drew on that prosthetic, but I wish that we could have gotten just a little bit more information about him.
  • Man, there are a ton of serial killers in Miami.
For more thoughts on Television, check out the Channel Guide archive.

Scenes We Love: Clark Griswold Explodes with Christmas Cheer

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Scenes We Love: Christmas Vacation

There will always be a special place in my heart for Jeremiah Chechik’s National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. In my adult life, I have made it a Christmas eve tradition to rival any sappy joy-filled movie you may watch with your family. Whether I’m hundreds of miles from home or right next to close friends and family, this movie reminds me of the best Christmas years of my own life. Large family gatherings, plenty of food and yes, plenty of Auxillary Nuclear power-required mishaps. There is no Christmas like a Griswold Family Christmas. And to celebrate this love, our weekly Scenes We Love entry takes a look at one of Clark Griswold’s most iconic and explosive moments.

Setting the Scene:

It’s been a hard fought year for Clark, played by Chevy Chase, the “last great family man” who spends his days creating preservatives to keep your cereal fresh and crunchy, all in hopes of delivering his family a wonderful gift with his big fat bonus check. He’s made his plans, including putting down a $7,500 deposit on a ridiculous pool, all that remains is to receive a check in the mail. But Clark’s boss, as played by the ever grumpy Brian Doyle-Murray, has other plans. Instead of a big fat check, and just after his prized Christmas tree has gone up in flames, Clark receives something far less valuable. And it sends him into one of cinema’s most memorable, somehow PG-13 rated tirades. It was a more innocent time then.

Watch the Clip:

What’s to Love:

In a film like this, one filled with mishaps and holiday shenanigans including plenty of physical comedy, it’s important to have some sort of plot device that creates tension beyond Clark’s mother-in-law’s hemorrhoids. The bonus check does just that, creates a bit of rising tension that ultimately pays off with a heroic gesture from the unrefined Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid). It’s also a great example of Chevy Chase’s comedic timing and effortless delivery. Few actors were as good in their time as Chevy was in his.

Why This Stands Out:

It’s the breaking point between the rising first two acts and the somewhat action-heavy third act climax. And it’s memorably hilarious to see Clark absolutely lose his shit. In a movie filled with unforgettable moments, this one has the most immediate and uproarious kick.

Final Thoughts:

It was a tough choice, this one. Coming into the holiday season, there was no doubt in my mind that we’d have to share a scene from Christmas Vacation. And with so many from which to chose, it was hard to narrow it down. As an example of that, I’d like to cheat and give you a bonus clip that involves a sled and some high-grade cooking wax. Later dudes…

You’ll almost certainly want to explore more Scenes We Love.

And To All A Good Night!

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There’s nothing quite like the end of the year when every holiday comes crashing into focus. Overlord-in-Chief Neil Miller is busy trying to hang up $30,000 worth of lights inside his apartment to simulate Clark Griswold; Fure is knitting everyone atrocious sweaters; Hunter is trying to convince everyone why Visitor Q is a perfect holiday film; Kevin is agreeing with him; Kate is burning copies of “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” to keep warm; Landon Palmer is trying to really understand the nature of Christmas movies; and I am attempting to cure a hot beer hangover by drinking more hot beer.

But most of all, as the season of love and warmth and chocolate-covered cream puffs descends upon us all like doves in a John Woo flick, we here at Film School Rejects would like to take a moment out to remember our family: all of you.

Like family, you invite us into your home and put up with our insane ramblings around the dinner table even as we take the last crescent roll and spill red wine on your new jacket. The old saying that no one can remember says something about not being able to choose your family, but we are eternally grateful that you’ve chosen us. We’re grandly indebted to our readers, and although we never lose sight of that, we don’t always state it publicly (not because we’re highly, highly embarrassed of you (promise)).

So let’s raise a glass and toast to you. Thank you for reading, and may you have a wondrous holiday and a splendid, prosperous 2012. That is, until the world comes to a crashing halt. We hope you’re having a blissful time and always remember that, yes, Virginia, there are more movies to watch. So get to it. Right after just one more chocolate-covered cream puff.

‘Thor 2′ Will Play ‘Game of Thrones’ To Win Its New Director

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While Monster director Patty Jenkins would have been a fascinating choice to direct the upcoming Thor 2, she dropped out after some creative disagreements with Marvel. C’est la vie. Now, after a brief search, the job falls to Alan Taylor. According to Deadline Marienville, the Game of Thrones director will be telling Chris Hemsworth where to point his hammer.

What else is there to be said here? The first film had a classically trained Irish talent better known for his Shakespearean work (and for his ridiculous mustache-beard combination in Wild Wild West). The sequel now has an extensive television resume in the driver’s seat – work that spans from the action drama of Game of Thrones to the sassy whatever of Sex and the City to the dry wit of Bored to Death. If Taylor’s previous work is any indication, the second film might become something of a true adult drama. Of course, his feature film work to date includes the historical comedy (that was actually pretty damned funny) The Emperor’s New Clothes. Otherwise, it’s mostly dramatic work at play here.

The film is scheduled for release in November of 2013, so they’ve got some breathing room. Plus, Thor will be seen next in The Avengers next summer, meaning we can’t go a year without seeing that cape. We just can’t get away from it.

It’s also funny how much the feel of this article would change if the headline had been “‘Sex and the City’ Director tapped for ‘Thor 2′.”

Who Wants to Donate Sperm to Olivia Munn? The ‘Babymakers’ Redband Trailer is Here!

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If you woke up this morning and felt you needed to see a trailer frothing over with semen jokes, it’s as if the planets have aligned to tell you that you need more therapy and that the redband trailer for Babymakers has poked its little head out onto the internet.

This is the Broken Lizard movie that isn’t a Broken Lizard movie. Instead of the gang from Beerfest trying to impregnate everyone, it stars Olivia Munn and Paul Schneider (Away We Go, Lars and the Real Girl) as a couple who have trouble conceiving. Fortunately, Schneider’s character donated a bunch of great sperm years ago. Unfortunately, it’s all gone, so he has to try to steal some of it back.

Good old Kevin “Farva” Heffernan is on board as the sidekick, and Jay Chandrasekhar is directing and playing an Indian mafia killer (complete with genuine Indian accent!). As for the rest of the Broken Lizard gang, they look like they’re relegated to the background here.

Check out the trailer for yourself:

The trailer is a bit disjointed, but it looks like the kind of absurd, slightly mainstream adventure that Chandrasekhar and company are usually into. It’ll be interesting to see how much of Munn’s lemon-eating smile we can all handle, but overall it looks pretty standard. Then again, it was also written by a pair with a spotty record: Gerry Swallow and Peter Gaulke (Strange Wilderness, Ice Age: The Meltdown,  and Black Knight). Here, they have full freedom to talk about balls.

Would you go see it?

Dan Aykroyd to Get Southern and Political Again for ‘Dog Fight’

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It feels like Dan Aykroyd hasn’t been around for a while, but that’s only because I refused to see Yogi Bear, barely noticed him as the Vice President in War, Inc. and refused (again) to see  I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. So he hasn’t been retired or anything, but it’s sure felt like it.

Nevertheless, he’ll be coming out of that non-retirement for Dog Fight, the political comedy starring Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis as two South Carolinians who have their sights on the presidency. According to Movie Hole, the Oscar nominated actor is on board, but the role isn’t specified. Hopefully this won’t further delay that certain, ghost-bustin’ sequel Aykroyd has been steadily working on. I’m speaking, of course, about My Stepmother is an Alien 2.

The capable Jay Roach is directing a script from Chris Henchy (The Other Guys, and producer of many, many other movies) and Shawn Harwell (Eastbound and Down). Smash all that together, and it feels like reason for mild excitement.

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