A director that jumps between the world of fiction and the world of documentaries is a rare one, but Wim Wenders is no ordinary director. According to Christopher Campbell’s excellent interview over at Documentary Channel, the veteran chameleon auteur (figure that oxymoron out) will pivot from the breathtaking dancing doc tribute to choreographer Pina Bausch to the bricks and mortar of architecture.

Like Pina, which is in theaters now, the new production will be in 3D. Wenders had this to say, “I have always wanted to do a film about architecture, and I have a lot of architect friends. But that is another subject I never really knew how to approach with film. I realized through Pina that architecture is something that could have a real affinity to this medium. We started shooting already, but it’s at the very, very beginning. That’s going to be my next documentary project in 3D, but I would definitely also do a narrative film in the future in 3D as well.”

The good news? This is going to be amazing. The bad news? It’ll probably be a few years before it’s ready. Then again, good things come to those who wait.

Well here we are in the last week of December, coming up on another 365 days of anger at the entertainment industry. In 52 installments, I’ve been upset about a wide range of topics, criticized directors, defended 3D, argued with my peers and said the f-word a whole lot, much to the disappointment of my mother.

As a way of saying so long to 2011 and hello to the End of the World as We Know It (aka 2012), I wanted to take a brief look back at the previous year and pull the heaviest themes from Boiling Point and take a look at the recipients of my rage. So take off your shoes, grab a warm cup of cocoa and let’s take this journey together, provided you’re nowhere near me. If by some strange miracle you are near me, put your shoes on, put down my coffee cup and get the fuck out of my house.

The Frailty of the Human Condition

In 2011 I turned my rage on the portrayal of human tolerance towards injury and death on several occasions. I pointed out how people in films died with alarming speed from things like gunshots and stab wounds, even when those were applied to areas that should have resulted in long, slow painful deaths. Though I guess dying too fast from a lethal injury was better than one of my other anger issues, dying from things that wouldn’t kill you, like ninja stars and throwing knives that don’t penetrate far enough. If you’re a henchman, you are apparently rather frail and easily killed.

Then again, many characters out there proved to be over-resilient to many types of injuries. They casually got thrown dozens of feet by explosions and rather than doing the sensible thing and dying because their internal organs ruptured, they got right back up and kept on running. Dozens of heroes where choked unconscious or knocked out with great regularity and one can only assume they skipped their MRIs and CAT scans, otherwise they would have found irreversible brain damage and death on the schedule. A few fellows in horror movies also decided to spill their blood by cutting the palms of their hands. Luckily they had speedy recoveries that took only hours, rather than suffering through the extended healing time of a frequently moving area that would most likely require immobilization and constant care to maintain the proper elasticity. Oh well!

The Sad State of Horror

As a huge horror fan, I have suffered the slings and arrows of horrible films over and over again. In 2011 I lamented the absence of monsters in horror movies. What did we get? The tiny little cretins of Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark and a lame alien ripping off another (maybe) alien in Super 8? Gone are the days of big monsters, or hell, even regular sized monsters. What we need are the return of werewolves and other epic beasts to terrorize and tear up teenagers.

I also shed a tear in October as I’ve done almost every year for the lack of horror movies surrounding Halloween. The past few years have given us nothing but Paranormal Activity and Saw movies in major, wide releases. I still maintain that any half-way decent horror movie will give you a god damn landslide of cash if you release it close to Halloween. Guarantee it!

When Movie Makers Miss the Point

While I actually enjoyed The Thing (2011) quite a bit, that didn’t stop me from pointing out the obvious flaw in the film – no, not a plot hole, but rather a lack of practical special effects. A HUGE part of the magic in the original are the special effects. It’s impossible to fathom how a movie made nearly 30 years ago can have amazing practical effects and a movie made now can’t. Apparently they started with practical effects and then covered them up digitally. So much for 30 years of progress, right?

Sometimes my anger comes on early, too early really to judge a project, and that was the case with the Evil Dead remake announcements. My dislike of Diablo Cody’s dialog has been well documented, so clearly I was no fan of her addition to the film, nor was I glad to hear that Fede Alvarez won the job based on the ‘strength’ of his short film, a few minutes of storyless, plotless, characterless CGI. Much like The Thing, Evil Dead did wonders with limited technology. Sam Raimi’s classic was all about corn syrup and red food coloring, not digital animation. Sorry but I don’t get excited over some computer whiz kid taking over a blood and guts horror movie.

Worst of all, though, was when the official announcement described the production as using new film making techniques that weren’t available 30 years ago, basically a forewarning that CGI was coming. No. Fucking. Thanks.

The Theater Experience

I had some strange times in 2011 at the movies and some frustrating ones as well. My experience with Insidious was marred by talkers, while my enjoyment of Attack the Block was stifled by some assholes who thought they were heroes by being really loud in their attempt to make others be quiet. Seriously. The Hushers where making a bigger disturbance than the Hushees. It’s perfectly all right to tell someone to shut the fuck up if they’re being noisy, but don’t make a bigger scene by doing it.

2011 was also my breaking point with theater slobs, many of whom were my fellow critics. If you take it into the theater with you, bring it out. Your soda cup, your popcorn, your milkduds, your napkins. Clean your fucking area up. Don’t be a slob. Don’t be an asshole. If you want to use that sorry excuse that it’s “someones job” to clean up after you – fuck you. That’s like saying it’s okay to start fires because it’s a firefighters job to put them out. If you leave your trash in the theater, you’re an asshole.

The Walking Dead

The last quarter of the year was perhaps mostly a time for me airing out my dislike of AMC’s The Walking Dead. As a huge fan of the comics, I’ll simply say it one more time: the TV show went off course immediately by not following the comics. With writer changes and show runner changes frequently, this show has had a troubled past and will most likely have a troubled future. It’s an overly dramatic melodrama that gets a lot of slack just for featuring zombies, but not from me. This show is shit.

So there it is, the greatest hits, err, misses, of 2011. What will I fucking hate in 2012? There’s only one way to find out – seeya next year.

There are two things you don’t want to watch getting made – sausage and the official Film School Rejects’s year-end worst-of list. Hideous, dirty, bloody, illegal stuff; many animals die in the process (disclaimer – no animals were harmed in the making of this list). It’s a fool’s errand, a losing battle, a terrible way to dig up the past pains of the year’s biggest flops – reverse therapy for cinephiles. But damn if the results aren’t hilarious.

For this year’s Worst Films of 2011 list, our own Kevin Carr and myself teamed up to pick the most wretched of the wretched, the worst of the worst, the Adam Sandler films we’re all struggling to forget. There were many emails and even more tears. I doubt we’ll ever be able to look each other in the eye again. By the time Sir Carr and I were done volleying bad films back and forth at each other via the electronic mail system like a game of cinematic badminton that absolutely no one was capable of winning (and, really, how does one win badminton?), we were far too exhausted to even attempt to number the following twenty-two films in any kind of order. No matter, they’re all bad. We’ll leave it to you, dear readers, to take to the comments to call what you think is the worst (and what we’ve, quite unforgivably, left off).

Jack & Jill

When I first heard about this movie, it was on South Park, and I thought it was a cruel joke made up by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Then I saw the trailer, and I was still convinced that Adam Sandler was going to show up on The Tonight Show, saying, “Surprise! Gotcha!” But no. This movie was unfunny on all levels, with the power to wilt the human soul and send people into a deep depression. Adam Sandler has become unfunny enough in his pathetic attempts to do family films. Putting him in a dress and making him be a sexual turn-on to Al Pacino just made the world a worse place. Poor Al Pacino. KC

Beastly

I’m sorry, but why does this film exist? It’s a reworked Beauty and the Beast story that stars one of the Olsen twins (which one? who cares!) as some sort of teenage sorceress who dooms Alex Pettyfer (a hyped-up British star who has already made himself a bad reputation in the biz) to life as what? a dude with some bad tattoos and piercings? He’s a teen! It’s what teens do! But who can save him? Only the girl from the High School Musical movies and also Neil Patrick Harris as a blind tutor who cracks wise when he’s not trying to choke his sobs over being a part of this, dare I say, beastly mess of a romance. KE

Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son

Did you know that Box Office Mojo has an entire genre category devoted to “Fat Suit Comedies”? It seems that 2011 was a banner year for these films, which sadly made decent money but couldn’t draw a laugh from any respectable audience member. Between Adam Sandler and Martin Lawrence, the moviegoing audience can make a clear case for cinematic terrorism. Please stop, or we’ll send in the troops. KC

Red Riding Hood

Yet another “reworked fairy tale” engineered for the Twilight set – and even they couldn’t be bothered with Catherine Hardwicke’s take on the scarlet-hooded lady fair and the wolf she loves. All those capes and beasts? Who knew Hardwicke was such a fan of The Village? KE

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part I

Say what you want about these Twilight films, but they have a hard-core, rabid fan base. And while most people whose ovaries aren’t pumping out gallons of estrogen at the site of a shirtless Taylor Lautner will tell you these films are quite terrible, the first three films seem to have some entertainment value somewhere. But Breaking Dawn is something special, that is, especially bad. From chess-playing vampire honeymoons and ludicrous bed-breaking virgin sex to C-section via vampire teeth and a werewolf mind-raping a newborn, this film revealed what a farce this entire series is. And just think…as awful as this movie was, we’ve got the second half coming out next November. Whee! KC

Your Highness

2011 was a heartbreaking year for fans of filmmaker David Gordon Green, who used to craft deep-feeling and hard-hitting dramas with a magical little spin (even his romance All The Real Girls feature some moments of off-kilter humor and whimsy). But after the success of Pineapple Express, everything changed, and Green’s bread and butter suddenly became big, commerical comedies that felt more like in-jokes with his pack of equally-as-talented friends than something mainstream audiences could enjoy, old fans be damned. A comedic send-up of 80s medieval films? Sounds good on paper, but what an unfunny snooze on-screen. KE

Just Go With It

In contrast to Steven Spielberg releasing two spectacular films at the end of the year, Adam Sandler has graced the screen twice with godawful movies. As bad as Jack & Jill was (and believe me, it’s bad…just scroll up on this list), Just Go With It adds the box office poison of Jennifer Aniston into the mix. Sandler may be one of the nicest guys in Hollywood, but his treatment of the public is just shameful. Not only does he have to give us these suck-fests each year, he gets to squish up against Brooklyn Decker’s glorious ta-tas in the process. Bastard! KC

New Year’s Eve

I’d say that I don’t know what the movie-going public has done to deserve director Garry Marshall’s heartless, soulless, and mindless multiple storyline holiday films crammed with stars, but I know already – they’ve bought the tickets. Like last year’s dismal Valentine’s Day, New Year Eve’s tracked a bunch of luckless losers searching for love (even if they weren’t sure of it) on the final day of the year. If the most moving and amusing sequence you can squeeze out of such a film is an end-credits gag of Zac Efron dancing, you better just stay the hell away from Arbor Day. KE

Hall Pass

Remember when the Farrelly Brothers were funny? Or even remotely in touch with their audience? It’s hard to watch a movie like Hall Pass and recall their unbelievably hilarious films like Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin, and There’s Something About Mary. Somehow, these director brother duo replaced clever comedy with casting their friends and forcing slapstick. I’m not saying that Hall Pass is the worst thing the Farrelly Brothers have done (because we’ve got the sure-to-be-painful The Three Stooges coming out in 2012), but it’s close. KC

The Sitter

The second of David Gordon Green’s comedies for the year, The Sitter was somehow even less funny, sharp, or relevant than Your Highness – quite possibly the only claim to fame it will ever hold. If Green’s skewering of 80s medieval adventure films was flaccid, his take on 80s babysitting adventure films was just flat. Clocking in at less than eighty minutes, the film was an excrucitating watch and, like New Year’s Eve, was only lifted by the dancing on one of its co-stars (in this case, Sam Rockwell as a deranged coke dealer). KE

Why Watch? It’s weirdness wrapped up in the grainy elegance of the 1980s.

This isn’t the surrealist Monkees film of the same name, but it might induce the same WTF reaction. In Benjamin Wong‘s odd short, a young man (Don Chao) is passed over for yet another job promotion because he’s got something strange on top of his neck. After the humiliation, how far will he go to be liked, fit in, and snag the job?

What does it cost? Just 3 minutes of your time.

Trust us. You have time for more short films.

The ever-insightful Andrew O’Hehir has already called 2011 “Hollywood’s no good, very bad year,” in response to the lowest domestic box office take in three years, and that’s definitely one way to judge how things are going. Beyond the business side, an area that fans are probably less interested in, there’s the idea of quality – the concept of whether movies lived up to their hype and their expectations.

Every year, we do a list of the most anticipated movies coming in the following 365 days (our 2012 edition should be live soon), and every year, I like to return to that list to see how the flicks fared. It’s a small way of testing whether our dreams came true or they flopped. The Most Anticipated of 2011 included successes like Source Code, Hanna, and Harry Potter 8. It also included disappointments like Green Lantern and Sucker Punch, and movies that didn’t even end up coming out (I’m looking at you, Cabin in the Woods).

I’ve been (probably rightfully) criticized for essentially condemning entire decades, but if you’re like me, you can’t resist the urge to figure out if the collective pile of 300+ movies that come out in a year, taken as a singular entity, came out above the water mark or below it. Most of the time, it’s a feeling. Whether I can register an intense amount of impressive moments and movies. Whether I was surprised or brought to my feet. And whether the steaming pile’s odor is overcome by the wonder and awe that was created by the truly talented.It also has to do with the amount of Sour Punch Kids I’m able to eat.

But the real question is how you do it. Would you call 2011 a good year for film? And what criteria do you use to come to the conclusion? Beyond the good, bad and ugly, what will you remember most about it and how will that affect how you view 2011 in the future?

Some other sites or site runners may look down on lists, but those people are what are known as no-fun douche bags, because really, lists are awesome. They are short, easy to digest little morsels that you can wash down with a carbonated beverage, argue about, and take recommendations from. If you don’t like lists, you are worse than Hitler.

You know what’s better than Hitler? Lots of stuff, like peanut butter cookies with little peanut butter cups pressed into them. That, and also these ten action movies, which are my favorite for the year. Yeah, you’ll probably disagree, so comment below or get your own damn website.

11. Hanna

Eric Bana is a secret action star with a few good turns in a couple of flicks, but in Hanna he really gets to shine as an ass kicking secret agent. That being said, it’s the young Saoirse Ronan who really brings home the bacon and drop kicks it through a door. There are several very good fight scenes in the movie, but it doesn’t rank higher because I don’t understand how Bana’s character never decides to just get a gun and kill these assholes. Still, the movie is worth a watch if just to see what happens when Hanna thinks she has her target within reach the first time.

10. Captain America: The First Avenger

This was by no means a perfect film, but the story really resonates. Chris Evans did a fantastic job as both Steve Rogers and Captain America, plus his transformation was kick-ass and inspiring. The middle of the movie was an action montage extravaganza that brought back fond memories of The Rocketeer and Indiana Jones flicks. The action is good, but it’s the heart that lands this film on the list.

9. Battle: Los Angeles

Sure, it might be kind of a silly film with some laughable dialog, but in terms of action, the film is on overdrive pretty much the whole way through. In a year absent the really guilty pleasures of shoot-em ups like The Expendables, this was the gun violence choice of the year, with thousands of rounds expended and plenty of explosions to be had by all.

8. Real Steel

Action just isn’t about killing people, it’s also about boxing robots. Real Steel had a charming performance from Hugh Jackman, an entertaining enough kid, great action pieces in the ring, and a surprising amount of heart delivered from the vacant stare of Atom. This film got to me for some reason, possibly because I get a boner for robots, but probably because it was just good action entertainment, especially when a robot fights a bull.

7. Kung Fu Panda 2

This movie was so good, it made me mad enough to write a boiling point asking why a children’s cartoon was the best action movie I’d seen thus far in the year. KFP is a lot of fun with a great cast and some excellent action. It’ll please the kids in your family and keep everyone else entertained. Thumbs up.

6. Drive Angry

It just wouldn’t be a Robert Fure list without some violence and nudity on it some where. Drive Angry could be a contender for horror lists thanks to its supernatural elements, but I think the film does better as an action movie. It has car chases that rival or exceed those in Fast Five and enough blood and guts to satisfy even my warped tastes. Plus Amber Heard. Amber Heard. Amber Heard. Ya heard?

5. Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Is it an action movie or something smarter? Does it have to be one or the other? Rise was a surprise to many, a film that managed to be both smart and entertaining, intelligent without being overly preachy. Plus, once the monkeys decide it’s time to fuck shit up, things get exciting really fast.

4. 13 Assassins

There was nothing but praise for this Takashi Miike flick, so it was hard not to have high expectations going in. The film starts off by giving you all the plot and back story you can handle for about an hour. They just need to set you up so there are no more questions once the battle begins, because it rages and doesn’t stop for the last hour. The entire affair wasn’t overwhelming, with many undeveloped characters, but in the end when 13 guys with 50 swords slash and murder their way through 200 people, it gets a spot on any action list.

3. Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol

A worthy successor to the fun and exciting M:I:III or whatever they called it, Brad Bird’s first foray into live action brought plenty of action and a good bit of comedy along for the ride. With some truly breathtaking sequences in IMAX and lively action sequences, this film would have been at home opening up in the middle of Summer.

2. Transformers: Dark of the Moon

We can argue all day over the merits of Michael Bay or the Transformers franchise, but to be honest with you, if you don’t at least acknowledge these films for the jaw-dropping action, you’re just being a stubborn dick. Transformers 3 overstays its welcome a little bit in length, but makes up for it by including some of the best CGI of the year and some of the most frenetic, ass-kicking action sequences of the year. With tons of military goodness and rampaging robots, this is an adrenaline fueled pre-teen wet dream of mashed up metal.

1. Ironclad

With a similar death toll to 13 Assassins, Ironclad decided to intersperse the violent action and story a bit more and ultimately created a more satisfying experience. The film follows a troubled Templar Knight, a Magna Carta loving Baron and his men as they defend the Castle of Rochester against King John, the King of England who decided to give up considerable power to stop a rebellion only to not actually give up said power. King John recruits an army of Danes and lays siege to Rochester, but few hold out against many for an absurdly long time resulting in an absurdly high number of deaths. Ironclad is extremely violent, with dozens of gruesome injuries, fractured faces, and removed limbs, but it never dwells too obsessively long on the gore. It is most likely the most accurate portrayal of the brutality of medieval warfare ever recorded.

Honorable Mentions: Fast Five almost made the list, but a lackluster fight between Vin Diesel and The Rock coupled with stale car chases leave it off. Warrior was also a strong contender, but ultimately this sports movie suffered just a few too many cliches to make the final list.

We’re just getting started with our 2011 Year in Review.

The marketing machine behind The Amazing Spider-Man, the upcoming reboot of Peter Parker’s coming-of-age origin tale, hasn’t been giving us much to chew on lately. It was all the way back in July when they released the first teaser trailer for the film and here we are, entering a new year and still only teased. Though there is no indication of when the studio might release a meatier trailer with more finished effects work, so we can get a better idea of how this movie is really going to look, there were a handful of still images recently released via the movie’s official Facebook page.

These new images don’t focus so much on Spider-Man and his battles with the villainous Lizard, but they do give us a glimpse into the sequences where he’s figuring out his powers. There seem to be scenes where he discovers that he suddenly has what it takes to fight back against bullies, that he has mad ups on the basketball court, and that it’s not so hard to swing around on suspended chains at abandoned construction sights as it used to be. I think it’s all a metaphor for puberty.

Also there’s a shot of Emma Stone all decked out in her Gwen Stacy garb and holding some hefty books to remind us that Gwen Stacy is and forever shall be a prettier, smarter, less annoying romantic interest for Peter to pursue than that catchphrase-spewing ball of drama Mary Jane Watson.

Oh yeah, and there’s also the matter of Spidey’s mechanical web shooters. We get a pretty close shot of them here, so that should once again stoke the flames of the great Internet debate over which webbing is better: organic or mechanical? When Sam Raimi’s first movie came out there was quite the uproar about Peter’s wrist-mounted inventions being taken away. Has enough time passed between now and then that a new generation of kids who grew up with organic webbing will rally against a mechanized version? Let the great debate begin again; this is a very serious matter that needs hashing out. [Facebook, via Cinema Blend]

When the theatrical trailer was released for Paramount’s upcoming horror movie The Devil Inside, I responded to it by groaning and putting my face in my hands. There wasn’t anything in the footage that made this film look any different from the one million exorcism movies or the one thousand found footage horror movies that are already out there. Was this project really necessary? Well, the new red band trailer hints that though it might not be necessary, The Devil Inside might still be pretty fun.

No, there isn’t anything revolutionary going on here that’s going to separate this film from the rest of the pack in your mind, but it’s starting to look like this one goes a few steps further than the rest of the recent exorcism films as far as big time spectacle, creepy effects work, and offensive content goes. This time around we get extended bone-crunching gymnastics, camera-splattering vaginal blood, lots of action, and a bit with a baby that’s bound to give you the willies.

The first trailer spent most of its time setting up the found footage, based on a true story aspect of the movie’s presentation, and I found that to be a real turn-off. These movies that try to look like real, pieced together home video footage are always boring as heckfire. But this new trailer drops some of that pretense and focuses more on selling the film as an over-the-top, gross, horror movie gorefest. Now that’s something I can get behind. There might be some hope for the genre yet.

The Devil Inside opens on January 6, 2012.

Some actors worry about keeping strict control over how the world perceives them and making sure that they don’t get typecast, but Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks seems to think that if you look that good dressed up in the garb of the period, why not follow up your head turning, 60s-set breakout performance with another role steeped in the same decade?

To that end, she has accepted a role in director Sally Potter’s upcoming anti-nuke movie Bomb, which tells the tale of a couple of teenage girls who become part of the Ban the Bomb movement and also learn a little bit about free love and their own blossoming sexuality along the way.There isn’t yet any word on what role Hendricks will play in the film, but she joins a cast that already includes Elle Fanning and Alice Englert as the main girls, and is also rumored to soon pick up names like Alessandro Nivola and Annette Bening as well.

Bening is one of the most proven veterans in Hollywood, and Fanning has quite a bit of buzz going for being so early in her career, so I think it will be good for Hendricks if she gets the chance to work alongside such respected names. Anybody who is familiar with the episodes of Joss Whedon’s Firefly that she appeared on knows that Hendricks has more impressive chops than the boob-obsessed media is probably giving her credit for, so it will be nice to see her rub elbows with the upper echelon of the acting world. She’s got to get out there and prove what she’s got before that dang Jessica Chastain scoops up all the potential roles for elvish-looking redheads. [The Daily Mail]

With the entire original run of The Twilight Zone available to watch instantly, we’re partnering with Twitch Film to cover all of the show’s 156 episodes. Are you brave enough to watch them all with us?

The Twilight Zone (Episode #126): “Living Doll” (airdate 11/1/63)

The Plot: A new doll threatens a little girl’s mean-spirited stepfather, and all the lollipops in the world may not be enough to save him.

The Goods: Annabelle and her daughter Christie return from a day out with a new toy for the girl, but husband/stepdad Erich (Telly Savalas) is none too thrilled with the purchase. He’d prefer it if his wife didn’t spend his money or use his credit cards, and he’s not above being a complete tool about it towards her and the child. Erich’s angry power play intimidates Annabelle and Christie, but the Talking Tina doll is less than impressed.

Quite the opposite in fact. It threatens to kill him.

The old ‘evil animated doll’ chestnut is a classic for a reason. Dolls, much like clowns and mustachioed clergymen, are inherently creepy even before they’re given dialogue. Movies and television are filled with examples of the genre including the Child’s Play and Puppet Master film series and the Monsters and Night Gallery TV series. Of course, even The Twilight Zone got into the act a few times…

The story here is far more straight forward than the last time Rod Serling entered evil doll territory. “The Dummy” starred Cliff Robertson as a ventriloquist who ends up swapping places with his wooden sidekick in an ending that makes little sense, but this one eschews any such ridiculousness plot points. Aside of course from the talking doll herself.

Tina speaks to Erich, but only when others are out of earshot, and her proclamations become threatening fairly quick. To be fair, he did start the fight by verbally attacking his wife and stepdaughter as soon as they arrived home, but that hardly warrants the death threats. Their feud escalates as Erich tries to get rid of the doll in various ways including tossing it in the trash, burning its plastic skin and crushing its head in a vice.

Excessive? Perhaps. But when his efforts end in futility he gives up the fight, returns Tina to his poor, unloved stepdaughter, and retires for the night. The doll finally follows through on its threat in the most passive and least exciting way possible, and Erich meets his doom.

Savalas really seems to enjoy the various scenes where he tortures the doll, but his glee isn’t enough to make this episode feel anything but pedestrian. It’s a solid example of a pretty standard story, but it never really stands apart from a crowded genre. Talking Tina is menacing in her words, but we never see her move aside from some eye and neck motions so there’s no sense of growing danger or imminent threat. The real menace here could just as easily have been a slow, creeping madness taking over Erich’s mind if it weren’t for the episode’s ending which is also its best moment.

What do you think?

The Trivia: Talking Tina is voiced by June Foray who also voiced the real-life Chatty Cathy doll manufactured by Mattel.

On the Next Episode: “A mysterious old man in a cave guides a group of townspeople after a nuclear war.”

Catch-Up: Episodes covered by Twitch / Episodes covered by FSR

We’re running through all 156 of the original Twilight Zone episodes over the next several weeks, and we won’t be doing it alone! Our friends at Twitch will be entering the Zone as well on alternating weeks. So definitely tune in over at Twitch and feel free to also follow along on our Twitter accounts @twitchfilm and @rejectnation.

There were some supposed protagonists I loathed this year — everyone in Transformers: Dark of the Moon, that asshole narcissist Hal Jordan, the annoying Jack Sparrow — but there were plenty who showed honorable and, yes, badass traits. 2011 brought a few real American heroes (and from parts elsewhere), both in personality and actions. One doesn’t need superpowers or a gun to be a hero, but, as shown by a few choices I made, those simple good traits.

And, even if one’s not the greatest of people, you can still be a great hero, as shown by the number 15 choices to kick off the list…

The Asshole Heroes

Colter Stevens, Source Code, and Britt Reid, The Green Hornet

These two were real pricks. Colter Stevens and The Green Hornet were as incompetent, boneheaded, and unlikable as they come… and there’s something kind of awesome about that. The Green Hornet, a film I would choose over Thor any day of the week, is a misogynistic superhero — how often do we get those? Not often enough, and the same goes with a soldier who, after countless times, can’t get much done, except for stealing a guy’s body and his girl. One played by Michelle Monaghan, as it were.

The Crimson Bolt and Boltie, SUPER

The Crimson Bolt is part psychopath — and Boltie is nearly sociopathic — but one can still root for these drug dealing and line butting killers. By most standards, Boltie and The Crimson Bolt are bad people. They do horrible things. The Crimson Bolt comes from a empathetic and damaged place, but the guy’s nuts. Boltie, on the other hand, comes from a nihilistic, yet oddly adorable place. Both anti-heroes get stuff done — just not in the cleanest or most morally sound way.

Sgt. Gerry Boyle, The Guard

A confrontational, outspoken, foul-mouthed, prostitute-loving cop is about as fun and likable as a hero can get. Sgt. Gerry Boyle appears inept and lazy to the many incompetent individuals he pisses off in this comedic western, but he’s a true cop — just not in the traditional sense. The character’s always ahead of everyone else, especially his moronic American partner. The character tries to blend in with the pack of idiots he’s surrounded by, but he’s nothing of the sort. Boyle presents an idiocy to fool everyone else, and it always works. And, best of all, Goofy is his favorite character at Disneyland, and there’s nothing more manly than admitting that.

The Hippie Hero

Ned, Our Idiot Brother

The most relaxed and charming hero of the year. Why is the lovable hippie heroic? The fact that he is so uncynical in a time that’s nothing but cynical. Ned is the type of character that makes you want to be a better person. He’s a bit of a dope, but in an endearing and sweet way. There’s not a malicious bone in Ned’s body, and that’s the type of character we rarely, if ever see anymore. After seeing Our Idiot Brother, one only wishes they could love life as much as the bearded and Croc-wearing Paul Rudd.

The Classic Heroes

Captain Haddock and Snowy, The Adventures of Tintin

These two were the real heroes of The Adventures of Tintin, or at least the only heroes one can actually give a damn about. While the ginger journalist is kind of an empty vacuum of charisma, Captain Haddock and Snowy burst with personality and heart. Haddock’s redemption had some emotional weight, and who doesn’t love an alcoholic hero? As for Snowy, he gets to participate in one of the best dog-oriented action scenes ever.

Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Somebody buy this kid a beer. It’s astonishing that Harry Potter isn’t in shell-shocked war veteran mode by now. His parents were killed, he’s never not in danger, plenty of his friends have been killed or tortured because of him, his remaining blood relatives are bigger monsters than Voldemort, and he doesn’t get a steady girlfriend until the final film. This kid’s the chosen one, so why does it take him so long to get a girl? In a world of magic and Hermione shacking up with Ron, that’s the biggest leap in logic. Despite that shortcoming in the ladies department, Potter stuck through it until the very disappointing end.

Ethan Hunt, Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol

There’s an effortless coolness to Ethan Hunt. While John Woo botched that part of the character in his abominable sequel, Brad Bird got the appeal of this hero. There’s never any winking with Tom Cruise, and when the series is at its best, there’s no self-referential winks of “See how cool this is?!?” Cruise and Bird are aware that Ethan Hunt running from a dust storm, hanging off that monstrous building in Dubai, and every other human magic trick he does is plain awesome, and they let the coolness speak for itself. To top it off, Hunt is probably the most human blockbuster action hero in recent memory. The character gets the shit kicked out of him, but somehow keeps going and going.

Captain America, Captain America: The First Avenger

In an age of whiny and dark superheroes, getting to watch someone like Steve Rogers was refreshing. Earnest and kind-hearted,  Captain America is a man’s man superhero. Sure, by the end he may be the oldest virgin to ever walk the earth, but this super soldier has every admirable character trait possible. Never cocky or brooding, this “aw shucks” kid is a prime American poster boy.

Driver, Drive

Ryan Gosling’s lone traveler is like a machine — constantly ticking, (mostly) stays cool under pressure, and gets the job done. For someone who doesn’t carry a gun, he’s more than effective. The Driver is a modern day samurai who must save the innocent princess he loves. Why do they fall in love? They like awkward silences and staring at each other a lot — that’s a big kind of connection. With each death blow Driver delivers — which is whenever he isn’t gazing off like Rain Man — the more intense and revealed the internal character gets.

The Unexpected Heroes

Hanna, Hanna

Hanna is as frail and innocent-looking as most young girls, which is what makes her dangerous. The smartest move on director Joe Wright’s part was to make this cool action hero something tragic on the inside. There’s an artificial awesomeness to Hanna. When you dig deep, she’s just a child robbed of anything resembling a normal upbringing. Hanna’s one of the most interesting (and deadliest) female action leads in quite some time. Also, who doesn’t envy the idea of having a badass Eric Bana as your dad?

Magneto, X-Men: First Class

Bryan Singer seemed to despise Magneto in his films. The cast and crew always name drop the whole “Malcom X and Martin Luther King Jr.” comparison, but that only works if you consider Malcom X to be a total psycho. Matthew Vaughn and Michael Fassbender actually managed to inject sympathy into this hurting mutant. Filled with pain, sadness and anger, there was a humility to this tortured soul. Before turning into a neo-Nazi, Erik was a suave and regretful James Bond with nothing to lose.

Lisbeth Salander, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

By far the strongest part of David Fincher’s re-adaptation is Rooney Mara as the vulnerable Lisbeth Salander. The childlike, male-fantasy detective — anyone who says the idea of a young, hot goth girl sleeping with a bland, old journalist isn’t a male fantasy is nuts — isn’t your typical female hero. She uses her smarts and information to get ahead, not her sexual power or inflicting brutality.

Curtis, Take Shelter

A messenger from God who no one believes, Curtis is basically a modern day Noah being rejected by a more cynical community — a hero labeled a loony. A storm is coming, something Curtis isn’t 100% sure about, but he knows he has to prepare. Michael Shannon’s performance is so powerful that, even if he was simply crazy, you’d still feel sympathy and heartache for this man trying to protect his family. Curtis is trying to save the ones he loves, no matter how nuts he comes off.

Rango, Rango

This is Johnny Depp’s most charismatic and iconic performance in years. The lame Jack Sparrow ain’t got nothing on Rango, an aspiring actor-turned-fake badass-turned-real badass. For the first half of the movie, Rango’s real disgusting, both physically and personally. Has there ever been the lead of a kid’s film as ugly and off-putting as Rango? Every time I see him shed skin, I cringe more and more. On the upside, Rango is an actual western hero with a sense of humor and knack for fun.

Caesar, Rise of the Planet of the Apes

This Ape is a genius, beats up an overly annoying neighbor, successfully conjures a jailbreak, wins a street fight on the Golden Gate bridge, and is the future leader of our soon to be screwed world — those are some real accomplishments. Andy Serkis makes Caesar so understandable that, by the end, all we want to see is this little chimp eat every man, woman, and child that gets in his way. Caesar > Humans.

Honorable Mentions: Moses (Attack the Block), a once despicable kid, now a sword-wielding alien fighter; Thor (Thor), the charming, cocky cock who gets a hammer, blows stuff up real nice, and snags Natalie Portman; Hesher (Hesher), a guy who lives by no rules, tortures kids, sleeps with a kids’ crush, and saves a family after all those fine deeds.

We’ll probably never know what happened between the managing director of the International Monetary Fund, Dominique Strauss-Khan and the hotel maid who accused him of sexual harassment, Nafissatou Diallo. It’s a modern scandal that resulted in the high scrutiny of a potential contender for the French presidency and ended with the charges being dropped completely. Still, it was enough to stop Strauss-Khan’s political aspirations – perfect for any conspiracy theorist looking for something fresher than JFK.

Now, according to Deadline Neuilly, Gerard Depardieu is pissing himself to play the role and he may team up with actress Isabelle Adjani. At the front of it all is director Abel Ferrara (the original Bad Lieutenant). He and collaborator Christ Zois are working on a script that will apparently utilize the Strauss-Khan story in a larger narrative about “addiction and politicians,” according to Wild Bunch producer Vincent Maraval.

Current events are definitely fodder for stories, especially if you’re the showrunner for Law and Order: SVU, but the fact that there’s apparently more to the story here is intriguing. Plus, Ferrara’s involvement is also the best of kind of bizarre. There’s no doubt it will spice things up.

Color me shocked. After years of famously refusing to remove his clothing for films, Matthew McConaughey has finally given in and stripped down. Magic Mike must be a hell of a project to make him betray his own ethical stance against half-nudity in film. Either that, or Steven Soderberg must have convinced him that he had to get partially naked in order to co-star. Well, I hope it was worth it, Mr. McConaughey. I hope it was worth your dignity.

As you can see, Warners has released the first official image from the movie (which is also the first image ever of McConaughey without any top cover) that stars Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, McConaughey and Olivia Munn. As we all know, it’s about male strippers. As we know because of this picture, it’s about patriotic strippers. And, as you can tell, we finally know why McConaughey refused to take his top off before now. Eesh.

Anytime you can’t tell whether a trailer is for a real movie or a parodic lark, it reaffirms the need to give it a second or third look. That’s priceless for a lower budget movie based off an internet meme.

Bad Ass, a totally real, actual movie, stars Danny Trejo as a bearded man riding a bus who is set upon by local street toughs. When video of him taking their asses out to the curb goes viral, he becomes a crime fighter. It’s based, of course, on Epic Beard Man – an Oakland bus rider who encountered the exact situation (including delivering a whooping and becoming a viral video star).

So, why not watch the trailer and the original viral video together? Check it out for yourself, and start growing a beard for justice.

Aw, man. He’s leakin’.

As you can tell, the character has been changed from a white man into the brilliant/insane force that is Trejo, while the attacker has been changed from an angry young black man to a crew of bald, Caucasian thugs. I eagerly await the reverse-white-washing controversy to explode any minute now. Any. Minute. Now.

Nonsense aside, this looks like low budget beauty that will, most likely, be a terrible movie with a few great fights and dialogue that makes everyone sad forever. Don’t believe me? It was written and directed by Craig Moss, the mind behind The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It. Granted, he could come out of his shell with this one, but everything else points toward the contrary. Even the trailer skirts the line between needing either an Asylum or a Funny or Die logo at the end.

Would you see it?

Why Watch? This year, the city of Talinn, Estonia created 60 Seconds of Solitude in Year Zero, an experimental film project which saw a bunch of different directors from all over the world create a one-minute short film which would play a grand total of one time in front of an audience before the sole 35mm copy was burned along with the screen it played on. Fortunately, digital copies weren’t off limits.

Be warned that Adam Wingard‘s entry, Ultra Modern, features nudity and sadness but also be warned that it carries a sort of uneasy beauty, a vibrancy that can leave you cold, and an abruptness that makes it difficult to access. Simply put – it’s uncharacteristically abstract. What’s more, I’m not so sure it’s meant to be understood.

What does it cost? Just 1 minute of your time.

Trust us. You have time for more short films.

I’m not generally a fan of the phrase “jumped the shark.” I think it’s presumptuous; as if I personally decided the standards with which a show should continue, and how it should be evaluated. I know what you’re saying “but… that’s exactly what you do.” Yes, yes it is. But that doesn’t mean I don’t oftentimes feel bad about it.

So when it came time to think of what aspect of 2011’s television offerings I would break down for your perusal, a nagging feeling piqued in the back of my mind – a lot of what’s on television should no longer be on television. And I’m not just talking about shows like Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, or any other number of programs that have worn out their proverbial welcome in the Neilsen households of America. No, I’m referring specifically to the handful of TV shows that chose 2011 as the year to hammer that final nail in the coffin of television irrelevancy. Just what, pray tell, are these shows that I’ve deemed no longer worthy of filling my DVR?

Read on, and when preparing the hate mail, remember that Mikela has one A, not two.

Glee

When Glee had its late spring preview in 2009 (which, I’ll note, was on my birthday – a win-win!), I was sold. It had pretty much everything that I love. Misfit teens? Check. Karaoke-style impromptu jams? Check. Journey? Check. An adult figure clearly a graduate of the Timberlakean school of black-white-guy soul singing? Double-check. At first, this show was so overwhelmingly charming; it felt hard to stomach (but in a good way.) It captured the awkwardness of teendom with a finesse only previously possessed by Judd Apatow in his brief turns on television (RIP, Freaks and Geeks & Undeclared, you left us too soon). And any show that can give Jane Lynch a primetime vehicle with which to showcase her talent deserves praise for that alone.

However, when you take a mid-season break that’s more than 3 months long, you’re bound to lose some steam, and that’s exactly what happened. When Glee returned in April of 2010, it wasn’t the same, even though most of us kept watching. What’s on now (from what I surmise, I fully admit that I’ve stopped watching the show) is a different animal altogether. Gone are the quirky storylines about teacher-populated a-capella groups, and in their place are preachy tales that make the show less about its characters, and more about its agenda. Additionally, the characters have moved ever so dramatically away from what they once were, and that I just cannot abide. Also gone are the fun, iPod playlist-esque song choices; replaced now by devoted theme episodes so creatively stretched to include the music that they seem more like an hour-long presentation of music videos (the Britney Spears episode, anyone?). I blame Ryan Murphy, ever the victim of his own creative megalomania.

Dexter

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. This is a show that elicits an overwhelmingly strong reaction out of people. People don’t just like Dexter. They LOVE Dexter, in an “OMG DID YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED ON DEXTER??!?!” sort of way. It’s a thing. I’m guilty of this, too – so entranced by Michael C. Hall’s ability to transform from the awkward and emotionally tortured David Fisher of Six Feet Under to the even more emotionally tortured Dexter Morgan that I plowed through the first two seasons on DVD in an embarrassingly small number of days. I even subscribed to Showtime so I could keep up with what he, Deb (easily one of TV’s least likable characters), Batista, Laguerta, and even Rita were up to. The roster of guest stars only fed the already deafening buzz surrounding this show. I mean, John Lithgow? His portrayal of the Trinity Killer STILL gives me nightmares, a feat only achieved previously by the one-armed man being hunted by Harrison Ford in The Fugitive. Dude freaked me out, you guys.

So you can imagine the pain exuding from my fingertips as I express my realization that this show is so far past its prime now that it hurts to even admit. As if it were not awkward enough for us as an omnipresent audience to watch leads Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter portray siblings on-screen, while going through a marriage then a divorce off-screen, the writers have decided that, oh, yeah, this makes sense as a plot point. And while Dexter lost his best shot at normalcy with Rita (spoiler alert, but if you don’t know this by now, you’re doing the internet wrong), is he so whacked out that we’re supposed to believe that even he thinks it’s socially acceptable to be fielding doe-eyes from his adopted sister? I’m gonna go with no.

The Walking Dead

Oh, I know what you’re thinking. “This show again?!” Bear with me. When this gruesome Zombiepacalypse fell upon us in 2010, I was all over it. Who wasn’t? If you couldn’t talk about it on November 1^st, you were pretty much deemed socially unacceptable in conversation. Just saying. Sure, the show was a bit of a reverse slow burn – starting out with a bang, sustaining on a whimper, and ending once again, with a bang (both literal and metaphorical – zing!).

However, it was an interesting enough concept that when season 2 premiered nearly a year later, it was welcomed with a record tune-in for AMC. Well, color us disappointed. Over the course of a lackluster season, the characters emerged as some of TV’s least likable people. Don’t believe me? Check out my character annoyance index. Plus, not nearly enough people get eaten. It’s a zombie show, AMC, we don’t expect everyone to make it in the end. Liven it up a little.

True Blood

Many would contend one of two things – 1) this show jumped the shark long ago, or 2) there needs to be a shark established, in order for a show to jump it. I know it’s not exactly highbrow television, but this campy vampire saga has sucked me in since day one, and I’ve been able to forgive a lot of its shortcomings – the meat statue; Sookie; Tara; Tommy Mickens. This season, however? Sorry, Alan Ball. You lost me.

I could almost give it a pass, based on the sheer adorable-ness of Eric Northman, amnesiac, but when you throw in Werepanthers, Petunia Dursley as a possessed witch, and Andy Bellefleur’s inexplicable splendor in the grass with Sookie’s Fairy Godmother, yeah I’m done. There are too many cooks in True Blood’s mythical creature kitchen, so I’m going to go ahead and step out.

The Office

Again, I can hear the groans now – “this show hasn’t been good in years.” I disagree. Sure, not every episode can be as winning as “Benihana Christmas,” and I don’t know that I’ve ever laughed as hard as when Michael Scott ran over Meredith in the parking lot, but Dunder Mifflin was still having its moments up until recently. When Pam and Jim got married, I cried. When the gang walked down the aisle spoofing the Youtube wedding gag? I laughed. When Holly assumed Kevin was mentally challenged? That’s comedy, folks.

Sadly, all good things must come to an end, and I fear we’re nearing that point. With the departure of Steve Carell’s Michael Scott, so should have come the departure of this show as a whole, because things just aren’t working out. Funny and aloof as he may be, Andy “Nard Dog” Bernard simply isn’t a strong enough character to anchor this office, and the pranking of Jim vs. Dwight has worn thin. Poor Pam just seems to be pregnant all the time, and James Spader’s Robert California has moved past intriguing and into dick-ish territory. It’s time, Office writers. Let’s give Mindy Kaling the freedom to pursue other projects, shall we?

There it is, your weekly installment of curmudgeonly corner. What do you think about what’s on TV right now? Did I miss any shows that are living out their golden years less-than-gracefully? We should just put them in a TV show retirement home. It’s what they’d want.

Don’t touch that dial, and read more Channel Guide

Director Zhang Yimou is no stranger to epic period films that meld action with artistry to often stunningly beautiful effect, but films like Hero, House of Flying Daggers and Curse of the Golden Flower exist far from the real world. They feature their fair share of drama and loss, but wuxia films as a genre also include physical and acrobatic exaggerations that firmly remove it from the realm of reality.

The director’s latest film, The Flowers of War, does not allow itself that luxury.

It’s 1937, and the Chinese city of Nanjing has fallen to the invading Japanese army. Amid the citizens rushing to escape what will soon become a concrete prison are a group of Catholic schoolgirls who literally missed the boat and are now trying to make it back to their convent. The majority of them survive the run through the city, and they’re soon joined by an American named John Miller (Christian Bale) who had been hired to perform mortician duties on the recently deceased priest in charge of the convent. Miller’s only interest is in getting paid and getting out, but the arrival of a group of local courtesans complicates matters.

Japanese soldiers attack the convent and while the prostitutes hide the young girls are chased and assaulted until Miller, unable to ignore the screams echoing through the church, dons the priest’s robes and stands up to the invaders. His actions halt further tragedy, but they only delay the seemingly inevitable. Now Miller, acting as unintended protector, must find a way to help the women, girls, and a young boy named George to escape the city before the soldiers return to finish the vile and inhumane business that they had started.

The Flowers of War is an intense drama punctuated with memorable set pieces and real suspense. There are some spectacular action scenes early on as the Japanese and Chinese soldiers clash through the streets of the city and a lone sniper takes a stand, but even when the gunfire pauses the film remains a powder keg of emotion and pain. Yimou and cinematographer Zhao Xiaoding capture it all and highlight the grim and grisly aspects as well as the beauty. Buildings explode in showers of colored ribbons and fabrics, lives are willingly sacrificed so that others may be spared, and humanity’s worst traits go head to head with its best. The girls’ blandly-frocked innocence also goes up against the women who arrive in shimmering, form-fitting satin dresses that hug their curves and catch everyone’s eyes. It’s a duality that Miller finds himself in the middle of leaving him in a crisis of desire at the worst possible time.

Bale is fine as a man uninterested in the welfare of others but forced to take action when their plight becomes unavoidable. His general weakness as an actor, that being his usual inability to appear anything but gruff or smarmy, serves the character’s transformation well here. It’s clear the girls’ safety is not his primary concern, but as events develop he can’t help but step in and put their welfare before his own. It’s a begrudging concern filtered through his own anger and frustration at his unwillingness to walk away when he has the chance, and Bale makes the pain of that decision visible. Miller is no action hero, and Bale mutes his natural inclination to grimace and kick ass in favor of playing someone whose biggest threat may be his own selfishness.

Two relative newcomers actually surpass Bale’s performance with heart-wrenching turns of their own. Zhang Xinyi plays Shu, one of the young girls who comes under Miller’s protection and develops a crush on him along the way. She’s put upon by the other girls because it was her father who promised then failed to get them out of Nanjing, but her bigger struggle is within as she tries to deal with a yearning for womanhood amidst the despair and threat of imminent death. She connects with one of the prostitutes, a woman named Yu Mo (Ni Ni), and watches as the woman also connects with Miller (albeit in a slightly different way). Both Xinyi and Ni find their characters’ emotional cores tested and emboldened by their desires and their witness to the acts of others around them, and they allow their love, fear and resignation to play through their performances to great effect.

Most of the other performances are minor in screen time only and help to infuse the film with real heart, risk and humanity, but it’s those three that will have viewers holding their focus and their breaths. (Huang Tianyuan‘s turn as George is also commendable.) Just as much of a character though is the church itself. From its architecture both inside and out to the way colored light filters through the bullet-riddled stained glass windows, the building takes on a persona all its own. Like the people huddled within, the church is revealed to be a fragile and penetrable entity unable to protect itself without the aid of others.

The Flowers of War is at times a thrilling and heart-breaking mix of action and drama that will fill your eyes with beauty and tears as it tells its story of the best and worst humanity has to offer. It also proves that Yimou’s kinetic prowess isn’t relegated strictly to centuries past but instead is just as accomplished in a more modern day setting. This is a huge film in China (and has also been chosen as their submission for the Best Foreign Language film), but even with Bale in the lead it’s sadly been relegated to a limited release here in the US. See it on the big screen if you get the chance as both the action and emotions on display are highly cinematic and rewarding.

The Upside: Heart-wrenching without ever feeling melodramatic; some of the young girls are fantastic little actresses; battle scenes are beautifully frenetic; final fifteen minutes will clean your tear ducts pretty thoroughly.

The Downside: Christian Bale is the weakest acting link here; runs a little longer than needed.

On the Side: For an equally emotional but less narrative-oriented look at the events in Nanjing check out the excellent The City of Life and Death.

As 2011 crawls to a close and 2012 peeks its head over the horizon, many of us wayward souls find ourselves using the changing of the calendar as an excuse to make big changes in our lives and start over fresh. ‘Tis the season for resolutions. Some of us will resolve to cease destructive behaviors, others will vow to start new things that will enrich us and make us better people. But for each the goal is clear – we’re done with the past, finished with who we were, and starting from this moment forward, it’s going to be a new day. Naturally, all of this thought about what my resolutions are going to be and who I want to be in 2012 has me thinking about movies that I’ve seen where people are trying to let go of the past and begin a new journey.

More specifically, I’ve closed in on two movies from the early part of the last decade that are about relationships ending and their messy aftermaths. The Michel Gondry-directed and Charlie Kaufman-penned Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is about a fictional service that will erase bad relationships from people’s memories, it stars Jim Carrey as a man wrestling with the question of how to best deal with painful memories, either by blocking them out or by accepting and processing them. Two years before that, Philip Seymour Hoffman starred in a movie called Love Liza about a broken man dealing with a relationship that had suddenly ended due to his wife’s suicide. Both films feature protagonists that have been forced to move on from the past to start life over as something new.

What do they have in common?

As I hinted at already, both of these films are about men who have had the most important relationships in their lives ripped away from them suddenly. Despite the fact that they may not be comfortable with change, they find themselves standing at the precipice of the unknown, trying to process what has happened to them and who they are now. Initially both Carrey’s character and Hoffman’s try to kill their past, Carrey through the means of science fiction and Hoffman through the process of huffing gasoline. Then, once they find their memories starting to fade, both experience a moment of panic where they struggle to preserve what they’ve lost. For Carrey, it’s a mad dash through his subconscious and for Hoffman, a search for the pictures of his wife and the suicide note that have been stolen from his house. The differences between the two films only come at the end. When all of the pain and strife is over, where do you go next? The answer appears to be different for each man.

Why is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind overrated?

The main problem I have with this movie, the big stumbling block that kind of ruins everything else that comes after, is that I don’t buy the relationship between Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet’s characters. They just don’t have any chemistry on screen and they get immediately drawn together for seemingly no reason in a forced pairing that happens solely because the script needs them to be opposites, and it needs them to be in a failed relationship. We get so much clunky dialogue to establish Carrey as the nervous anal character and Winslet as the irresponsible free spirit, and we watch them as their disparate natures chafe against each other constantly, but we’re never given any indication of why they would work together. It’s kind of hard to get invested in the dissolution of a relationship between two crazy characters who seem better off without each other.

Winslet’s performance in this one doesn’t do much for me either. It seems like every other scene exists just to portray her as a flighty train wreck, but I never buy that she’s so out of control. Some hair dye and mismatched clothing isn’t enough to pull off the quirky dream girl character. There needs to be some manic energy exuding from the actress, and from Winslet all I was getting was forced quirk. At every moment I was aware that she was performing. She does okay during the dramatic moments where she can reach back into her usual bag of tricks, but in the scenes where I was supposed to be falling for her charms, I just wasn’t buying it.

The other big issue that keeps me from giving this one the high marks that everyone else seems to is Gondry’s obtrusive directing style. His style is distinctive, but it hits like a sledgehammer. Every moment he uses one of his flourishes I find myself taken out of the film, because I can feel him inserting his crafting. And he goes a bit far visually recreating Carrey’s confused, disjointed mental state with frantic editing. It leaves us trying to follow a confused, disjointed narrative that trucks along too fast. You’re never allowed to sit in a moment long enough to let what’s happening sink in; it’s always constant confusion and go, go, go. Admittedly, this is a movie that gets better as it goes on, and I liked it better on a second viewing, after I was prepared to be so left out in the cold when it comes to the Carrey and Winslet characters, but I still don’t understand where its longevity and praise comes from.

Why is Love Liza underpraised?

This is a movie that contains so much random weirdness that there’s a strong possibility it could alienate and confuse its audience. But it works, and largely because it’s always able to maintain a consistent tone. Plus, it has the ongoing mystery of what Hoffman’s wife’s suicide letter says and how it’s going to effect him when he reads it tying all of the twists and turns the story takes together. Some movies like this, that try to blend black comedy with legitimate melancholy, and that seem to change genres on a dime, they end up a muddled mess that the viewer has a hard time knowing how to react to. But as I watched Love Liza I found myself delighting in all of the strange developments.

What starts off as a film about death and mourning moves suddenly to a tale of addiction, and then morphs again in to a strange buddy comedy about radio control toy enthusiasts. What’s happening is that Hoffman is searching for something to fill the hole that his wife’s death has left in his life; he’s lost and without a plan, he doesn’t know what to do, and we’re stuck experiencing it all right alongside him, stranded amongst all of his awkward interactions. Unwilling to accept any options that might lead to him moving on and forgetting his wife, he starts huffing gasoline in an effort to destroy himself and escape from his own body and mind. Does that sound too ridiculous to work? It’s not, and it all works for pretty much one reason: Philip Seymour Hoffman.

His performance in this movie is exhilarating. What we have is a small scale character study, so the spotlight is pretty squarely aimed at Hoffman’s face, and he absolutely kills it. Whether he’s glassy eyed and withdrawn because of huffing gas, or he’s flipping out into fits of rage and grief, or he’s doing absurd buddy comedy alongside the delightfully weird Jack Kehler (you know, The Dude’s landlord from The Big Lebowski), he’s totally believable and powerfully magnetic. Throw in a strong supporting turn from Kathy Bates and a handful of appearances by character actor legend Stephen Tobolowsky, and I don’t understand how this could be a film that has faded into relative obscurity.

Evening the odds.

Eternal Sunshine leaves us with Carrey and Winslet aware of everything that has happened to them and committed to making the same mistakes all over again, no matter how much pain it brings them. Love Liza takes the opposite approach. Hoffman is left without anything, even the shirt on his back, and in a situation where he is being forced to cast everything that hasn’t worked for him in the past aside and move on to something new. As we approach the upcoming new year, I hope that I can use this film as my inspiration to boldly walk into new, undiscovered territory, and not fall back into making all of the same old mistakes just because I can take comfort in knowing how they play out. Rather than clinging to the past and allowing it to destroy us, it’s time to make a clean break and start over. Even if that often involves getting out of the movie theater and putting on a pair of jogging shoes.

With the entire original run of The Twilight Zone available to watch instantly, we’re partnering with Twitch Film to cover all of the show’s 156 episodes. Are you brave enough to watch them all with us?

The Twilight Zone (Episode #127): “The Old Man in the Cave” (airdate 11/8/63)

The Plot: After a massively destructive atomic event, a small band of people try to rebuild a life, aided by the advice of a leader that gets all of his marching orders from a mysterious, unseen old man in a cave – just like the title promises!

The Goods: With everything in ruins, it’s tough to think straight. We aren’t used to survival mode, and when we drop into it, the results are pretty ugly. Rod Serling knew this, and it was paramount in his creation of The Twilight Zone. This episode is one of the most direct examples of the show’s philosophy that faith and courage should endure even when fear and violence promise to be our salvation.

The story here focuses on the pacific Mr. Goldsmith (John Anderson) as he barely holds on to his leadership position – one he utilizes to organize the people left alive in the area.

At the beginning, his crew finds a trove of canned food, and the ensuing argument underlies just how tenuous our relationships can be when all the McDonald’s in the world have been firebombed out of existence. They decide to wait for Goldsmith to return from the cave to let them know whether the old man inside approves of the food, or believes that the cans are contaminated with radiation. When the food is deemed inedible, it doesn’t relieve the tension, and when paramilitary leader Major French (James Coburn) shows up, the rubber band is poised to snap.

What’s most interesting about this episode is how every element of its allegory could have swung the other direction.

In this version of the set up, French asserts himself as an authority through force and convinces a weakened group of survivors to eat the canned food after exposing the old man in the cave to be a computer. Of course, the food was irradiated, just as the computer foretold, and everyone dies except Mr. Goldsmith. Lesson learned.

However, the story just as easily could have gone the other way. French could have been an aggressive but necessary force in freeing a group of people from the heretical worship of a computer that’s steering them in the wrong direction. The food could have been fine, and Mr. Goldsmith could have been burned at the stake for relying too much on technology instead of listening to his fellow man.

All of it hinges on Serling choosing between making the food poisonous or not (or, really, short story writer Henry Slesar choosing). One outcome proves that faith and the utilization of tech are superior. The other shows that humanity is supreme in the face of soulless mechanics. Both are lessons that previous entries have made, so it seems realistic to believe that this episode could have gone exactly in the other direction.

More than just high concept flexibility, this is one of the more compelling stories as a result of strong acting from Anderson and the powder keg friction of Coburn (as if there were any doubt). The two men manage to be representational without losing their core DNA as frail meat sacks trying to stay alive in a world that doesn’t encourage it. The wall to wall tension helps bring a sense of realism to an unimaginable scenario that we imagine all the time in our art.

Once again, a fascination with nuclear death rears its ugly head, and this time the wisdom comes from a circuit board.

What do you think?

The Trivia: Serling, for one, welcomed our robot overlords.

On the Next Episode: Robby the Robot makes another appearance when a woman has to take care of her hateful uncle’s robot after his death.

Catch-Up: Episodes covered by Twitch / Episodes covered by FSR

We’re running through all 156 of the original Twilight Zone episodes over the next several weeks, and we won’t be doing it alone! Our friends at Twitch will be entering the Zone as well on alternating weeks. So definitely tune in over at Twitch and feel free to also follow along on our Twitter accounts @twitchfilm and @rejectnation.

As the current year comes to a close, many people focus on the symbolic birth of the upcoming new year. But horror movie fans might be more inclined to focus on the death of the old one. In particular, as 2011 winds down to its final destination, here’s your chance to raise a glass of champagne (or beer or wine) while revisiting this summer’s Final Destination 5 on DVD and Blu-ray.

Forget in-depth characters and brilliant acting. Final Destination 5 delivers on some creative kills and one hell of a disaster sequence in the beginning. If you like the series, there are some good things in there to toast…much more than the last film, at least.

And now, to cover our butts… This game is only for people over the age of 21. Please drink responsibly, and don’t try to cheat death.

TAKE A DRINK WHEN…

• Someone dies
• The lights dim as “death” arrives
• There’s a call-back to one of the previous four films
• You think you know how someone is going to die, but they end up dying differently

TAKE A DRINK WHEN YOU SEE…

• A cell phone
• Foreshadowing
• Blood on a finger
• The “Presage” logo

TAKE A DRINK WHEN SOMEONE SAYS…

• “death”
• “bridge”
• A swear word
• A person’s name

CHUG YOUR DRINK WHEN…

• The bridge collapses

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